Salem Grace - Birth Story

I'd made it to 38 weeks! I never, never thought I would make it this long. With the preeclampsia and my physical pain and my past with the twins, I never thought I'd make it this far. I spent my pregnancy praying I would make it full term. I had to go into Labor and Delivery 3 times with cramping and/or high blood pressure. My blood pressure started to get really high, and I thought I was nearly induced multiple times due to the high blood pressure but I really didn't want another pre-term baby, and I did not want to be induced. My doula was out of the country for a week and while she as gone my blood pressure was so high, I nearly had to go into be induced but by literally not even sitting up in bed I was able to keep it low enough. Then I went to see my witch doctor and she did some energy healing on me. Something I've never done. But it was the craziest thing - Salem kicked the entire time she was touching me. As she would move her hands over my belly, Salem would follow her with kicks. It was amazing. This was at 36 weeks. After that, my blood pressure dropped to normal and the protein even was gone from my urine! This was an enormous miracle. I was so afraid of having to be put on magnesium again during the labor. I had to go in 3 times a week for an NST because of my high blood pressure, but I stopped going the last week because my blood pressure wasn't an issue anymore.

At 38 weeks, I was beyond done. I was in so much pain. I seriously sat in the chair and cried the last month of my pregnancy. With the twins I could not walk by this point almost at all. I still could this time, thanks to going to the chiropractor every week! But still after being in excruciating pain for 7 months without reprieve I was just physically and mentally done. Plus I could tell by how huge my stomach was, and by her movements, she was a big baby.

At 38.3 I woke up and had contractions throughout the day (which I hadn't experienced any braxton hicks or anything). I had heard acupuncture can induce labor, so I went in at 3 and had my first acupuncture done. I started to have stronger contractions while there, and on the way home at 5 I called Trevor to say I was having strong, painful contractions close together (2-3 minutes apart) and wondered if I should go to the hospital. I text my doula and she said they were still not close enough, but to keep her informed she was at another delivery. I went home, and luckily my mom and Bobs and her boyfriend Hanz had come over to make us dinner since Trevor's birthday was the day before. The contractions started to get less painful and more erratic much to my utter devastation. I wanted this baby out. My biggest fear about my labor was what to do with the twins. Trevor and I went back and forth if my mom should take them to Provo with her. If I did go into labor, it would be so much easier for her to have them. But I didn't want her to take them if I wasn't going into labor. I was so emotional and being separated from the twins at all throughout this pregnancy was really emotionally hard on me.  After going back and forth, I finally told her to take them.

As the evening progressed, the contractions would come and go, nothing consistent. Trevor told me to get in a bath, and said he would go get something spicy for me to eat to try and get labor going. He asked me what I wanted and I didn't know, we never decided on anything specific. I thought he would go to the store and get something - he though since I didn't say something specific he didn't need to go. So I get out of the bath tub and I just feel crappy and come down stairs and he is playing video games! I was so mad - I'm in early labor and feeling awful and he's playing video games and he didn't get anything spicy for me. He could tell I was mad, and I went upstairs to bed. The contractions started to get stronger, and I got out of bed and realized I was really wet. Honestly I thought I had just peed... but with time it became apparent my water had broken. I texted Trevor and he had gone to the store in his frustration with my frustration with him. So naturally I text him "if you were home where you are supposed to be, you would know my water had broken." Way to be snarky in labor. He rushed home and we made up and went to the hospital. I texted my doula and let her know my water had broken and we were headed to the hospital.  She responded she was still with the other mother, and told me I could call her backup doula (who I had not met and was uncomfortable just calling her up).

At the hospital, I was leaking an insane amount of fluids. The hospital floor was just like a slip n slide wherever I went - I was so embarrassed.  I was a 3.5 the last few weeks, I felt pretty confident based on the twins, as soon as my water broke we'd have a baby. I  was still a 3.5 upon arrival which was really disappointing. Come to find out, only my outer water had broken so even though I was having regular, painful contractions, I was not dilating. I got to the hospital about 11pm on the 24th. They told me if by 2am I hadn't really progressed, they would break my inner water. I had strong, painful, regular contractions until 2am, where they told me I had not dilated much more. So frustrating!!!!!!!

I guess I should add, that I decided with this labor I wanted to deliver naturally. There were quite a few reasons. The first thing that made me feel passionately I needed to this naturally was the horrific, debilitating back pain I got from the epidural with the twins. I could barely stand up to change their diapers in the NICU for the first month. I was terrified it was going to be permanent. I did a lot of research at that point, and came across articles of so many women who had constant back pain from their epidurals that never went away. Women who got life long migraines as a result of their epidural. The side effects of epidurals are really scary if you look into it.  With the twins the pain was awful, but by the time they came home at 2 months the pain had mostly gone. With this baby, I couldn't take of the twins and the baby if I had side effects like that again. I couldn't risk having such a horrible side effect. And what if it was permanent this time? Second factor was breastfeeding. It was so incredibly important to be to establish good breastfeeding. With the twins we never could breastfeed and pumping every 2 hours for months and then the mastitis awfulness was just not something I could go through again. If I wasn't medicated, and the baby wasn't medicated through me (which I fought so hard not to take any medicine with pregnant)  nursing early becomes so much easier. Third reason - I wanted to know what childbirth feels like. Women have been giving birth for thousands of years. I wanted to know what it felt like to birth a baby. Trevor was on board with this. I knew the best way for me to achieve this goal was to have a doula, so we hired Megan who was awesome.

With the twins, by the time I got my spinal block/epidural I was an 8. I was in a ton of pain, but I was nearly there and to pushing. So going into this, I felt - I know I can do this. When they checked to see if my water had broken - they could see Savannah's head. And my pain was bad obviously but I was talking through it and ok. So when deciding to do this naturally, I felt like I could totally handle the pain. The only part I'd been medicated for with the twins was the pushing. I remember with the twins when I got the epidural, the anesthesiologist said I would feel a couple more contractions before the medicine kicked and I thought "I can't handle another one!" So I know the pain was bad, but as soon as he placed it they took me to the operating room to push.

HOLY HELL was this labor more painful. I was having strong, painful contractions from 10-2am and had not progressed at all. Thats 4 hours. My total labor time with the twins was 5 hours. From water breaking to both babies born. 5 hours. I was still at a 4 and in more pain for the last 4 hours than I was when they could see Savannah's head! At 2am they broke my water and things got more painful. They let me get up and walk around every hour or so. So I was stuck in the bed with all the monitoring stuff on my stomach which pushed in and made everything so much more painful.  Trevor was asleep most of the time, and the nurses are 0 help. My doula was still with this laboring mother. I didn't know what to do - if I should call the backup or not. By 5am I was in so much pain, and was still only dilated to a 5 or 6. I had been in hard labor for 7 hours by this point, most of it completely on my own. I was really questioning my ability to do this. Trevor was awake by this point and giving me moral support. They told me if I wanted an epidural, I had to have it soon because there was a scheduled c-section at 6 and the anesthesiologist would be unavailable. This was such a psychological mess to be in! I wanted this natural so badly! But I had been up all night, I'd been having contractions since 10am the morning before, and been in hard labor for 7 hours. By myself. My doula was still with the other mother and I hurt and I didn't think I could do it. But I had to decide now - If I didn't get it now I would have no choice but to do it naturally even if the pain got so bad. It was really scary to me. I started to cry at some point and was telling Trevor, I can't do this. He called the doula and she was on her way! She drove 90 miles an hour from the U to IMC to get to me. He was telling me "you can do this" But I was ready to cave. In walks Megan, and sees me sitting on the bed (the worst position to labor in!! I had tried to relax and breathe through the contractions but it just wasn't going well) hooked up to the monitors. I'm crying, saying "I can't do this!!" And she marches in, and rips the monitors off me, gets me up and takes me to the toilet and sits me down. She holds my hips, and Trevor holds my head and she tells me to breathe through the contractions. Everything hurt so badly. But when I was in a position that actually made sense for delivery - things started to move. Megan told me she could feel the baby moving down, and things were getting close. I closed my eyes and breathed through each contraction. I had wanted to labor in the bath tub. I don't know why throughout the night I hadn't gotten in. I decided now, I was in so much pain, was the time to get in! The nurse said no but I kept asking and Megan started the bath for me. I got in and it felt so good! I only made it maybe one contraction and the doctor came in and was freaking out, saying I needed to get out now! This was unsafe and I could not deliver in the bath tub. Well good luck getting me out! I couldn't get out. I remember being so afraid of getting out, because I didn't know what position to get in then and I knew when I was in the bed I couldn't handle the contractions before. Trevor ended up in the tub and lifted me up. As I got out, I could feel her head. I did an awkward bear walk to the bed, since her head was right there. Trevor told me later it was really funny. This was the scariest part for me. I knew she was coming. I had seen them get the delivery tray out with the scissors and knives and other scary things. I knew that at this point, I had to push her out. There was no one but me. No one could help me. I couldn't get pain medicine, or stop labor. She was coming and they may have to cut me and I would feel it. I might tear, I had to feel it. That feeling of knowing there was no return was just really scary. The first push I honestly thought I was going to die. It felt so weird and it hurt and it was just a whole new sensation, feeling her coming out. I was on my hands and knees in the bed. After the first couple of pushes, it got so much better. The contractions themselves went from so painful to more of just an urge to push. It was nice to not feel that insane pain as strongly. I learned the pain would stop between contractions and honestly it wasn't that bad. I would push and she would come out a little, but then go back in. The doctor got impatient and told me I needed to roll onto my back. Then on the first push, she pulled Salem's head out and caused me to tear. This hurt so badly. After her head was out, she let Trevor hold her head and with the next push, Trevor delivered her on his own. And she was here!! Salem Grace. 8lbs 8oz. 8:30am. 22 inches.

She was so perfect and wonderful! Trevor and I were (and still are!) completely in love with this little angel of ours. Her labor was so much longer and way, way more painful than with the twins. But I am so proud and grateful I was able to deliver her naturally. It was an amazing experience. It is so cool and amazing to be able to relate to, and understand what women have gone through birthing for centuries. The pain and feelings I felt are the same Eve felt, and my great grandmother and all women going back. It is so empowering.

We are so grateful she is healthy and happy and here!