Banished to the Hallway, and Jacob

I no longer can say, "come to my office - room number 3162".

Yes, I got the job. But simultaneously, I've been kicked out of my office. Banished, if you will, to the middle of the main hallway on the 3rd floor of the Riverton Office Building (ROB).

Not just me, but my partner in my every-day endeavors, Julie. We've shared out small, cramped, yet wonderful office for the last 5 months or so. We could close the door, hide, talk as much as we wished. It was fabulous.

(Here are our desks. Hallway behind, in front, in the middle, and on either side. Mine is on the left, Julie's on the right).

But those on the fourth floor (the fourth floor is where all the Directors are) have decided a better place for us would be in the middle of the hallway, outside of our old office. Eek. We hated the idea. We cringed and cried and whined and delayed our departure, but, alas, last last Friday was "D-Day". We are now officially sitting in the middle of the hall.

Not only that, but they built our cubicles WITHOUT back walls. Seriously? Apparently, they ordered the wrong walls. Woops. That is all we got. "Woops". No effort to order the right walls or anything of the sort.

The guys (the guys being the men in our department who we support) saw our predicament and were nice enough to pull an unused desk behind my desk, which made the back wall standard cubicle height. If it weren't for that desk, I'd be so hating life. I would be visible from almost anywhere on every side. People could stand right behind me and see everything I was doing. Unnerving. Now, with the back wall, I am at least not visible from directly behind.

(The half wall in front is all that was there. The wall that goes higher is a desk they pushed from some other location to rest behind me, at least blocking my visibility from behind. That desk is my saving grace! Notice the flowers my family sent me! And the pictures Bob drew for me).

My time to work has decreased, significantly. People come by to chat, ask questions and ask me to do all sorts of random things. And the printer. Ooooh, that printer. This printer is much better than the one at the Triad. But it still has its issues. It beeps. It gets jammed. And now, I have a front row seat to the action. Before I could hide in my office and pretend I didn't know the ins and outs of it. But now, as the men stand there perplexed, they look at me - and I have to stop what I'm doing and fix the printer.

No, I am not a big fan of the hallway.

The worst part, I assumed, would be people being able to creep up behind me and see me from every angle. Having no privacy at all. Yes, it is bad. But the worst part?

Jacob.

Jacob is single. And looking. Jacob is maybe 300lbs. He is a computer nerd - aka - no social skills. At all.

Jacob walks back and forth in the hallway, all day long. It is impossible that he is getting any work done, with the time he spends pacing the hallways in front of my desk. Back and forth. Back and forth (he actually said that one time, on one of his treks). I ignore him. I want to be a better person than that, but I just can't do it. Julie and I look at each other every time, and mark off what time that was that hour. We've gotten 10 times in an hour. Julie and I look at each other a lot. He is decreasing our productivity as well as his own.

In the morning, as he starts his back and forth bits, he doesn't look at me.

Towards afternoon, he does this creepy behind-the-shoulder-sexual-glance type thing.

At the end of the day, he talks to me. This is the worst part of my day.

Friday, it went something like this:

Jacob - takes this digital clock thing I have on my desk, and holds it, looking at me.
Me - I look at him like, "what are you doing?" and then go back to work.
Jacob - Stands there, talking to me/himself. Nothing worth repeating.
Me - I continue to work, pretending he is not there.
Jacob - "Look, it's a FOOTBALL!" Proceeds to pretend-throw it at my face, repeatedly, extremely close,   while saying, "BAM! BAM!"
Me - I give him my best crusty. "It is not a football". I look back down at my computer/work.
Jacob - "It's a VOLLEYBALL!" Proceeds to pretend-throw it at my face, repeatedly, extremely close,   while saying, "BAM! BAM!"
Me - Another crusty. "It is not any type of ball". I look back down.
Jacob - Proceeds to fly it around my desk, my face, etc.
Me - A co-worker walks towards me. I see him, and make my most in-need-of-help face. He sums up the situation, laughs and walks away. I'll get him back later.
Jacob - "Look! It's a top!" Proceeds to spin it around on top of my desk.
Me - I see another co-worker. I give him my most in-need-of-help face. He pauses, enjoying my pathetic face and situation, laughs hysterically, and leaves.
Jacob - Finally puts the clock back and leaves.

I can't do this every day! I don't have the charity or the endurance. I want my office back!

Love,
Brittney