Empress Brittney Johnson of the Most High Office, Ruler over the Portfolios, an Analyst of the Filing System

So, I’m talking to Bob this morning – and it’s the usual type conversation. Her adventures as a tone deaf student in choir, milking cats – etc.

Then she asks me what’s up with me. So I told her I got a promotion. She asked me my new job title. I told her, Portfolio Analyst. And she told me that that name sucks. I personally think that Portfolio Analyst is a pretty cool sounding title. So I asked her what would be cooler. She said, “Her Royal Majesty, Princess of the Office.”

That got us into a debate about whether or not titles like that existed in the world, apart from those who marry princes.

It ended with me saying, ok. By the end of day, I want a list of 10 titles cooler than Portfolio Analyst. And she sassied it up by replying, “I don’t need time. I could do it now.” So she did.

So here is the official list of 10 titles Bob thinks are infinitely cooler than “Portfolio Analyst”:

1. Her majesty the Portfolio Analyst

2. Lady Portfolio Analyst

3. La Seniora Johnson el Portfolio Analeest (you know, analyst with an accent)

4. The PA

5. BJ PA (ok, so at the end of the conversation Bob made me read this list out loud to her to make sure I got it all right. And I said BJ PA ((Like Brittney Johnson Portfolio Analyst – makes sense and is really funny!)) and she starts laughing and said she had said DJ PA – like a music DJ. But then she said, “I like yours better, keep it.”)

6. Miss Analyst

7. Miss Office

8. The Crowned Jewel Portfolio Analyst

9. Madame Portfolio Analeest (again with the accent)

At this point, she draws a blank… so she heads to the computer, takes some time – and whips out number 10 – which so happens to be both our favorites from the list:

10. Empress Brittney Johnson of the Most High Office, Ruler over the Portfolios, an Analyst of the Filing System (Note – filing system was cabinet until she thesaurused cabinet and it gave her filing system. I like of the Cabinet way better - so much more official. But since this is her list, I'll keep of the filing system).

Love,
Brittney