Married

I went to Excel training last week. I highly enjoy going to trainings – it makes me feel hardcore. Like – really legit.

I walked in about 5 minute early, but the whole banquet room at the Radisson was full. There were over 100 people there, in long tight banquet tables. Every seat was taken. There were a couple random seats in the middle of the tables, where I’d have to squeeze past 5 or 6 people or more.


This is where my shyness really comes out – in big settings like this. I hate having to squeeze past people, while lots of people watch. It makes me uncomfortable.


So I walk in, and immediately this guy turns and looks at me. This really cute guy. He doesn’t just look – our eyes meet and he keeps looking at me. I’m scanning the room looking for a seat, and nothing really is open. The seat closest to the end of the table is right next to this cute guy who is still looking at me. I’m really shy when it comes to guys and dating and all that – so going and sitting next to him was way out of my comfort zone. Really forward. But honestly that was the best option for seating. So I went and sat next to him.


We introduced ourselves and were kinda joking around. And I thought, “this guy is cute and awesome!” and then I realized, I hadn’t checked for a wedding ring. So I looked over, and indeed there was a ring on his finger. Sad! Of course I would sit next to the cute awesome MARRIED guy. The training started and he continued to joke with me and we were just having fun, and I noticed – wait – there is no ring on his finger. Hmmm… I’ve seen a ring before and thought they were married, then noticed it was on the middle finger, not the ring finger. But there was no ring at all on his hand. Really weird. And he’s really flirting with me. So I start to think maybe he’s going through a divorce. The divorce is really new, he hadn’t yet taken off his wedding ring – then he sits next to a girl he things is nice, and realized he isn’t married and should take of the ring…


He continues flirting with me, leaning in, sitting close… and then he mentions going through a divorce. Ah ha! So that was it… he talks about how crazy she was, and all this stuff… and mentions the divorce is the best thing that could have happened… lunch comes around and he asks me if I want to have lunch with him? Did I mention he is really cute and completely my type? So I said yes.


We went outside and he drives this sweet truck. Keeps getting better and better. We eat lunch, and he’s really flirting and I’m having a blast – he’s making me laugh and is just cool. The check comes – and that always makes me awkward. I didn’t really know what to do/say – so I just said I can pay for my portion? And he says no, he’s got this. Then he took me out for gelato after.


The rest of the training went the same, joking around, laughing, flirting. It was very entertaining. He owns his own business and he showed me his website – so I knew where he worked, his name, etc – and he was saying how I know all his information – and I mentioned all he really knew about me was the company I work for and my first name.


As we were leaving, he looked over at my instructor evaluation form, where I had written my full name. We got outside and ready to part, and he didn’t ask me for my number. I was kinda disappointed, but I mean if the guy is going through a divorce, the last thing he should be doing is picking up girls. And although I really thought he was great and had fun, I’m not really looking for a divorced guy.


So I went on my way, never to see him again.


I was mentioning the story to a friend, how crappy it was to meet a great guy I actually liked and had fun with, who turns out is going through a divorce. Boo. She told me to add him on Facebook. I’m not going to add him on FB when he could have gotten my number and didn’t. Curiosity did get the best of me and I looked him up on FB. His profile picture was one of him, his wife and 2 little girls. WHAAAT? His about me said something to the effect of: I love my wife and girls, they are my life, etc. Ummm… this divorce but be really, really new! That explains why the ring was still on… no way I’m adding this guy on FB! He’s still married!! Eek!! So I exit out and don’t think about him any more.


On Fathers Day, I get a friend request from him. What!? He added me on FB? So I go through his pictures, and he’s still very, very married!! Then I see his wife had written on his wall for Father Day about how much she loves him and what a great Dad he is, etc. That doesn’t sound like a divorced wife to me… then I remembered he’d said his wife was crazy and said some random stories – so I assume she is crazy and just not accepting the divorce?


Then I notice he’s responded to her post of love – saying how much he loves her!!!!!! WHAT? Not only is he married, he’s not going through a divorce and he’s definitely not intending to be from the looks of it!!!


But why add me on FB when it’s OBVIOUS he’s married?? Gag. A couple days later, he wrote me a message asking me how training was the second day (he couldn’t come that day). Initiating more contact….


WEIRD.


So anyways, I went on a really awesome date with a married man. I feel super weird about it (clearly).


I keep thinking maybe I misinterpreted, and it really was innocent? But he did take off his ring, he bought me lunch, flirted with me, asked me how I was still single – inquiring about my dating status, added me on FB and wrote me a message. All things married men should not, in my opinion, do.


I mean he could have mentioned how he was married?? Especially where there was no ring on his finger.


The saddest part about the whole thing (well besides his poor wife) is I really could have seen myself liking him. It was a really fun date.


Except he’s MARRIED.


I told my co-workers (all men) and they were so weirded out and told me that his actions were really iffy and I wasn’t misinterpreting them or making a bigger deal about it than it was…


Suggestions so far for handling the situation have been:


• Delete him off FB and never talk to him or respond to his email (probably the best option and what will happen).


• Write on his wall, “Thanks so much for taking me to lunch. I had so much fun!” (so his wife can see what he’s doing in his free time – taking young single girls out and flirting with them and taking off his wedding ring).


• Tell his bishop (Ha).


So basically, I need to go on a really great date asap so I can’t say the last awesome date I went on was with a married man.