ENGAGED

Friday night, we were supposed to go on a double with Trevor’s best friend Brock, who I haven’t met. Trevor was way excited about it.

As I was getting off work, Trevor texted me and said, “Hey, plans have changed for tonight, call me when you can”.

I called, and Trev told me that Brock had a work thing come up and had to cancel. He said he was thinking of something to do and would let me know when he picked me up. I asked what his idea was? And he said “I was thinking maybe My Thai (my favorite Thai place) and a walk after.” We both love My Thai and we go on walks all the time, so nothing suspicious. And where he’d planned a double date, there was no way he was planning to propose.

At this point, since we’d been ring shopping, I was suspicious ALL THE TIME. But he really hadn’t had an opportunity to buy it; we’d been together right after work every day. So I really didn’t think he had it. But I was still suspicious, since he could have gotten it during lunch, or left early one day. But he made it sound to me he was still doing research/trying to figure out which ring to get.

First suspicious thing, though… he told me the day before he’d left work a little early to clean his car. He calls his car “Grass stain”. Does that convey the love he has for it? So, taking the time to clean it out is not on the top of his priority list. So that was a red flag. But also – I didn’t’ really think he’d think it was important to have his car clean to propose? But still, I thought it was weird.

He picked me up, and said how sorry Brock was, and even showed me a text from Brock saying how sorry he was to cancel.

One the way to My Thai, we were “arguing” about something. And I said, “I win!” which normally extends into a lengthy debate about who actually won. It’s always in jest, but winning even in jest is important. And instead of fighting with me about it, he just gave me the win. Said something like, “I’ll give you this win today”. Red flag #2.

We went to My Thai and it was awesome. SO GOOD. Anyone who likes Thai, this is the best place in Utah. He acted fine. Nothing weird. Although he did eat less than usual probably, but nothing that I really noticed until I thought about it later. Also – while he does like Thai, this is MY favorite restaurant. It was a little unusual for him to suggest it. when he suggests places to eat they are usual his traditional go-to places. Red flag #3.

We’d talked about maybe having our reception at Memory Grove. We had two of our first dates there and had such a good time. There is this adorable reception hall. I thought it would be perfect for it, so I even suggested we walk around it and see if the reception would be nice there?

So we did. He had a blanket in the back (red flag #4 – he doesn’t think to bring blankets on dates and such). But again, didn’t think too much about it. After all he’d planned tonight to be a double with Brock, so no way he’d propose – and it had been my idea to walk around Memory Grove. PLUS I still didn’t think he had the ring. But as I said, I was suspicious all the time after ring shopping knowing it could be any time.

We walked around, and then walked up to the top of the hill. As we were walking I even tried to peek in his pockets to see if there was a ring-shaped bulge anywhere…

We got to the top and sat down, talked, enjoy the view. It overlooks the capital, downtown Salt Lake, Memory Grove. So beautiful.

He didn’t say anything mushy, just normal. Although, he did keep pulling me closer. Squeezing me, rubbing my back. He normally does those things, but it was a little more intense, making me think something was up. Red flag #5. Although… while he was doing those things, he wasn’t saying anything mushy. No special conversations. So that made me thing he wasn’t going to do it.

Then he started to act really weird. Standing up, pulling me up with him, hugging me tightly. Sitting down. Standing up. looking around. Checking his phone constantly. Sitting down. Standing up. hugging me tighter again… asking me if I’m cold frequently.

At this point I thought, “ok he’s got to be going to propose” since he was acting SO WEIRD. But again, no conversation indicated this is where it was going, he couldn’t have the ring, it was supposed to be a double date… But he was acting so weird!

I started to panic. Legitimately panic.

“I’m not ready to get married”

“It’s too soon to get engaged”

“I’m not sure about this”

On and on in my head. Full on anxiety attack.

So I asked him, “How do you know we will work? Make it?” And he told me why, and the things he loves about me. And it helped, but I was still panicking. Now I’m thinking, if he is going to do this, it’ll be now.

He says, “Is that a bird?” Apparently a bird had flown by? Subject officially changed. So now I’m sure he isn’t going to ask be, because he had just changed the subject. If he’d been planning to propose, that would have been the perfect time.

He continues asking me “are you cold?” and standing up, sitting down, checking his phone, looking around… he was acting so weird. He turns one of our songs on his phone, “Baby you a song, you make me wanna roll my windows down and cruuissee!!”. He pulls me to him and we sort of dance for a second. The he sits down again. So I sit too.  I am now getting cold. So I tell him I’d take the blanket. He puts the phone down on my side, and it is playing our song “Turn My World Around”.

He takes the blanket (camo… of course) and puts it on my lap, and drops to his knee in front of me and says, “Brittney Deann Johnson, will you marry me?”

I honestly don’t even remember seeing the ring or him even down on one knee, or putting on the ring… the only thing I remember next is having a total panic attack.

“TREVOR, ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA!??”

“ARE YOU SURE WE SHOULD DO THIS!?”

Yeah, exactly what he wants to hear right after asking me to marry him. He calmed me down, reassured me…

Then I asked him if we could pray about it…  (I know… so lame. I was a basket case!! I’m glad at this point he didn’t take the ring back and leave me there)

We cuddled together and I said a prayer, at which point everything hit me; the goodness of it all and the joy and the peace I so needed. I started to cry. He held me close.

I said, “Sorry I freaked out after you asked me to marry you.”

He said, “I expected it. That’s what I am here for – to pull you back.”

That was what I needed to hear. He knows exactly who he is getting… and he does know me well. He knew I’d have a panic attack and was prepared. And he is just what I need – strong and there waiting to pull me back when I freak out.

He was excited to tell his family. He said, “Should we go?” and I said, “no”. So we sat there on the mountain, overlooking the capital and downtown salt lake and I stared at my ring. He asked if I was ready to go about 5 times before I acquiesced.

We walked back the car, and in the trunk he had two bouquets of two dozen roses – one pink, one red. They were gorgeous. GORGEOUS. And smelled so good!

He handed them to me, one in each hand.

I said, “how come you got two bouquets?”

He said, “Because you are double awesome.” I think that was my favorite statement of the night.

We drove to his parents’ house, where everyone was waiting by the door for us. They stared at the ring, as enamored as I am with it. It’s the most beautiful ring I have EVER seen.

It isn’t photogenic though. It’s so sparkly and full of diamonds – that is what makes it so remarkably perfect. In pictures it looks one dimensional and not shiny. 

Side note - He knew as soon as I tried it on this was "the ring." He said I just lite up when I put it on, which I didn't do with any other ring. I didn't' know I had. I love that he noticed that. He said he was trying so hard to play it cool, since he knew this was the ring but didn't want me to know he knew.

Also. He bought it the next day. He called them in the morning and told them to put it behind the counter, he was coming after work to get it. He left early and picked me up right after work that day, and every day that week. So I thought there was no way he had had time to get it, plus he led me to believe he wasn't sure which ring and threw very deceptive comments out there. He did good being sneaky.

He bought it right after work, and spent every minute with me that night. So had had no time to show anyone. At one point he said, "Ok time for you to go home. Past your curfew!" and escorted me to me car. His mom told me later that as soon as I was gone, he ran back in the house,

"WANT TO SEE THE RING!!??" He was so excited to show them. They oohed and aaahed over it, and went to touch it and he pulled it back, "YOU CAN'T TOUCH IT!" He wouldn't let anyone touch it until he gave it to me. I don't know why but I think that is so cute.

his Dad wasn't there when he showed them, so the next day he and his mom went snooping around his room to find it and look at it. They didn't touch it though, so all was well :)

He said he would pull it out every night and look at it. I think that is the cutest thing EVER. It's those little things that make me love him so much. He's so funny and cute and sweet and just... him.

I called and told my parents.

We went to his grandparents’ house to tell them.

I love how excited everyone was! It makes it so fun, when everyone is just so excited for us and likes us together and can’t wait for us to get married and has been antsy for us to get engaged for a while.

I couldn't stop staring at my ring. Um, I still can’t stop staring at it.

We went to the grocery store after to get food for breakfast the next morning (conference weekend! My favorite!). I walked around the store in a daze, just starting at my ring. Trevor gave me something to carry and I was carrying it in my right hand and I dropped it. He looks at me and says “you can’t even hold anything in that hand now?” No, apparently I can’t.

The next day I took it off to shower, which was utterly traumatic. I didn’t want to take it off. And I missed it so much while I was showering… I texted Trev, “I had to take a really fast shower because I missed my ring so much.” He likes to tease me about that.

Also, the jokes are abounding about me walking lop sided now, since my right hand is so heavy…

It still hasn’t really sunk in, that we are getting married. It is more real now than it was, but still it hasn’t fully hit yet. I’ve stopped freaking out about “SHOULD WE REALLY GET MARRIED!!?? AAHHHH!!!!” And now it’s more of an “I HAVE TO PLAN A WEDDING!!! AHHHH!!” Freak out. So we’re progressing.

Love,

Brittney