Thoughts on a Halloween Friday

It’s not really Friday. It feels like Friday. It felt like Friday yesterday. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow, the real Friday.

It doesn’t feel like Halloween. Last Friday was my works annual Halloween trick or treating day. It’s a huge deal here. We have over 1,000 family members show up. Brittney Henderson and her darling kids came again, for the 3^rd time. It’s tradition now. They have never actually taken their kids trick or treating outside my work. This is all they know. This year Trevor was able to come. At our trick or treating day last year, I texted him the whole time. We were almost official at that point. This year he was with me.

We got all dressed up and it was awesome (wolverine and Storm. Pictures to come in my Halloween post).

Then last Saturday was our wards’ Halloween party, so we got all dressed up again and made/ate chili. Our chili won first place. We may have been the only judges, but I trust our verdict. Trevor won a prize for his costume. “MOST ORIGINAL COSTUME.” He looked awesome, his chops were perfect and we worked hard on those tinfoil claws! He deserved a prize. But “most original costume” for Wolverine?? I’d say maybe he should have won a different category. But he’s proud of his certificate (yes- they gave him an actual certificate) so I guess we’ll take it.

Since we’ve already trick or treated, dressed up twice, today does not feel like Halloween (I am wearing a skull shirt, green shoes and orange pumpkin socks though, in honor of the holiday spirit).

We’re going to celebrate Halloween with some amazing friends tonight – Alison and Steven – and I’m so excited. I’m making dessert – I made a pumpkin cheesecake from scratch. Scratch as in – I bought, cut, cleaned and cooked an actual pumpkin. I can’t wait to try it. It better knock the socks off of the canned stuff. It was a lot of work.

Speaking of dessert – I’ve gained 30lbs on birth control, in 4 months. I’ve dieted like CRAZY and didn’t cheat for an entire month and GAINED 2lbs (Trevor lost 14, in case you were wondering). I HATE MY LIFE.

We wanted to go to Saudi for Christmas, but with Trevor’s vacation days being utterly ambiguous and getting our visas – it is looking like it will not happen. I’m so, so sad. I haven’t been home in 2 years as of this Christmas. I miss it terribly. I miss the familiarity of being “home”. And I want Trevor to see what my home looks like. Where I grew up. he can’t begin to understand me, my background, the way I think, until he has seen where I come from.

I don’t know what our future holds for the next years, and my dad is retiring in about 3 years, so this was honestly the best opportunity we had to go visit Saudi. I’m so sad to my core that I can’t go this year.

Work is weird.

I need a change. I’m struggling with staying put for so long. I need an adventure. I need to move, try new places, new things. I’m feeling so boxed in, so antsy for something new. Restless.

I’ve had cramps 75% of this last month. Not so bad I need meds and am out to lunch, but enough that it is uncomfortable. Again, thank you birth control.

I miss some of my best friends who live too far away. Samar is in Texas, Brittany is in Calgary and Sachi is all the way in Provo. I want to have them next door.

I don’t know any of my neighbors. The ones I do know, I wish I didn’t (aka – the nosy, rude neighbor downstairs, and the alcoholic, to name just a few....) I want friendly neighbors I know. Who I can borrow 5 FREAKING EGGS FROM IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY (not that that happened last night while making my pumpkin cheesecake and I couldn’t finish it because I have no eggs and no one I could ask for eggs in my vicinity).

Trev got me wireless earphones for work (he got him some too) and I love not being connected to my phone or computer. I can move around, go to the printer, turn in circles in my chair – whatever I want to do – without painfully yanking the ear buds out.

I love fall.

I should get my wedding pictures back this week. It’s been 4 months.

Did I mention I really, really want to go home?

I’ve been sick this week and am beyond exhausted. I just want to sleep for a year.

That’s it.

Love,

Brittney