I love to see the temple!

Yesterday was the best day ever. Seriously, folks. I do not, cannot lie.

Work was good. I got lots of compliments on my hair. Always makes the day that much better. Especially when I didn’t do my hair. Well, I got it wet. But the rest was Divine Intervention.

I left work a smidgen early (I still got my 8 hours in – I didn’t take lunch. So leaving early is actually leaving on time. How’s that for a conundrum?). Anyways, after I got home I had a wonderful Cafe Rio salad, brought to me by the oh-so-fabulous Becki. Then we went to the Temple.

Can I just say, I LOVE the temple? The moment I walked in, I felt complete and utter peace, joy and happiness. I got the biggest smile on my face, and suddenly everything was ok. It is amazing how just walking into the temple, I feel that peace and joy immediately.

I love the cute old guys that sit in the entrance to the temple. They are so funny, sincere and happy to see me. Every time. I went to take my shoes off, and the cute old man said, "You know, I can almost remember the time when I could take my shoes off while standing up." I told him I thought he could, if he really put his mind to it. He also told me I had a good, strong name. Brittney Deanne Johnson.

I said thank you, it was a good name. And I believed it. Right then and there, I did believe it. It is fabulous how everyone is welcome and loved in the temple. No one knows your past or your faults or your weaknesses. All they see is a child of God. We are all equal. No one is better than anyone else, in the temple we are all equally welcome and loved.

I’m always so excited and happy to be in the temple, I skip up the steps to the dressing room. I always pause for moment, not sure that that is proper temple etiquette. But then I resume my bouncing, as I figure God would approve. After all, my skipping is the outward manifestation of the joy I feel inside.

After I was done, I took pictures of the temple. Can I just say it was an INCREDIBLY beautiful night?

Then, I went and watched the Joseph Smith movie with a friend. That movie always gets me. It was really great, how this time different events in the movie affected me. I had so many thoughts and impressions. It was wonderful.

The movie ended, we talked a bit, then Becki was done and we went home. Yesterday was one of the most incredible temple experiences I’ve ever had. I needed it.

I sometimes get stuck in the trap of self-pity. Thinking things are so hard; my life is so hard, so many bad things have happened to me… but really, hard is having people hate you because of your religious beliefs. Hard is having people yell at you, hurt you, hurt your family. Hard is watching your loved ones beaten, tarred and feathered, and driven out of their homes. Hard is leaving everything you own and trudging thousands of miles in the snow.

Sometimes, I have a hard time maintaining my faith because I feel like God’s abandoned me. And by abandoned, I mean things I think should be happening, aren’t. Take for example the temporary status of my job and the emotional turmoil associated with it. I am doing my best, shouldn’t things work out? They don’t seem to. And at times, I doubt His love for me. I lose faith because I can’t see the big picture – all I can see is a small piece that looks pretty grey and bleak. And then I dwell in self-pity.

And then I see/read about what the pioneers went through (and many, many others. I am specifically referencing the pioneers here because of watching the Joseph Smith movie). They went through a heck of a lot more than I ever have. How could they not, at times, feel like God had left them? Yet the whole time he was forming them into the best versions of themselves they could be, and leading them to the Great Salt Lake Valley. I have been a lot of places – and this Valley is incredibly beautiful. I love living here, as far as beauty goes. But it didn’t come instantly – this place was a desert when the pioneers came.

Sometimes I feel like my life is like that desert (I know it’s not! Remember the self pity part?). And the Lord is slowly planting seeds – I just can’t see them yet. And one day, it will be in full bloom. I just need to have the faith to keep tromping along. I am trying.

Today was a greatly needed reminder of how much God loves each and every one of us. And that happiness does not lie in money, possessions, or in the things we think we need – it is found in the simple beauty all around us. In the simple ways God blesses us each and every day. If I’m looking/waiting for the big miracles in my life I think I deserve, I miss the little miracles every day.