New doctor and twin anxiety

So, with the news that we are having twins, I had to get a new Dr. I was going to the Nurse Midwives at IHC and they don’t do twins. Also, I wasn’t super impressed with them to be honest.

That left me in a bad place at 16.5 weeks pregnant with twins.

A girl here at work, who is a twin herself, recommended a Dr. England who delivers at the Riverton Hospital. Her mom is a labor and delivery nurse and works with him. She said in all her time working with him, he’s never recommended a C-section unless it was absolutely necessary. He’s delivered tons of sets of twins vaginally, as well as a couple sets of triplets.

I would really like to have these babies naturally. The statistics say that 50% of twins end up in a C-section. My guess is because of the doctors. Most doctors are so eager to just take the babies by C-section. It was really important to me to find a doctor who would not only allow me to try for a vaginal birth, but support me in it.

I called and couldn’t get an appointment until the 15^th of May. That is the earliest they could get me in. I am supposed to be leaving on the 3^rd for my girls trip to Costa Rica.

All weekend long I’ve been stressing about the twins. It is so incredibly hard not being able to see them, feel them or touch them.

And just making the mental shift from one baby to two.

I still can’t believe there are two babies inside me. I keep waiting for someone to tell me this is a joke. That there is only one baby.

And it’s so scary for me to know I am 17 weeks pregnant with TWINS and I haven’t been seen by a doctor. No one has inspected these gorgeous little babies. No one has looked to make sure all my stuffs are working right. It terrifies me in general, let alone I’m supposed to be going on a 10 day trip to Costa Rica.

I have been kind of a mental wreck the last couple of days. I still haven’t been sleeping well since I found out about the twins.

I called the doctor first thing his morning, and begged and pleaded to get an earlier appointment. They had a cancellation for tomorrow (4/29/14) at 3:30 and got me in.

I almost started crying in relief.

I know I am a worrier in nature and need to calm down. But seriously, I have never stressed like this in my LIFE. I worry about these little guys every moment of every day, and pray for them 24/7.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I worried like this. I was a total mess. Every ache and pain made me panic. As the pregnancy progressed, I calmed down. I got used to the aches and pains and knew they were normal. I began to have faith that the baby was ok.

Now I’m back at square one. Panicking and freaking out every moment. The emotional toll this has taken on me has been crazy. And my amazing husband is just as calm and faithful as always. I envy his ability to not stress out. He knows these babies are fine and healthy and hasn’t thought about it since.

I’m trying to work on it. I know I need to for my sanity as well as the wellbeing of the babies. I just can’t keep the panic at bay. The terrible “what ifs”.

I am just so grateful they were able to get me in to see the doctor tomorrow. I’ll know much more then!

Love,

Brittney