24 week Doctor Appointment

I saw my doctor today – things with the twins look great.

Things with me look not so great.

My blood pressure is a little high. Nothing too bad, but definitely disconcerting this early in my pregnancy, so we are going to have to watch that carefully.

Honestly, this pregnancy wouldn’t be that horrible if it weren’t for this ligament paint I’m experiencing. I can deal with all the other symptoms.

It’s this pain every minute of every day for the last 4 months, and it’s steadily getting worse, that I can’t handle.

Every step I take feels like I’m being stabbed in my girly parts. At night, every time I move a leg or try to adjust positions, or even getting into bed – feelings like a knife is being jabbed inside me. I’ve never in my life experienced such intense pain. And it’s been every minute of every day since I was 2 months pregnant.

I can barely make it to the bathroom, it hurts so bad these days. And I’m supposed to be working full time. I made it in the office 2 days last week (I worked from home the other days – I’m getting work done) because physically I can’t do more than that right now.

If I stay home all day and sit on the couch, guzzling water with my feet elevated, not moving except for bathroom trips – the next day I can physically and emotionally handle going into the office. But one full day of work and I’m in so much pain I can barely sleep and I wake up exhausted, in pain and emotional.

It’s seriously the worst. And that is just the ligament pain. That isn’t even mentioning all of the other lovely pregnancy symptoms I’ve got going on. But this pain is by far the worst.

My doctor said there is nothing he can do. That he gets some patients that hurt so badly by the end they are in wheelchairs.

Sigh.

I know there is an end in sight and that should give me relief – but honestly, the idea that I have 2-3 more months of this all consuming, never ending pain is more than I can handle.

AANND I’m working. That is making things so much worse, physically and emotionally. But we need the money, and I’ve struggled so much because I feel like I’m letting Trevor and our family down, if I can’t continue to work.

The doctor said the pain is not pre-term labor, which is a huge relief. So the pain isn’t a threat to the babies. It is however a bad sign of the rest of the pregnancy. He said at this point, he doesn’t recommend I continue working. He wrote me a medical note saying he suggests I work from home and don’t come into the office.

The problem is, I don’t know if they will let me. So I’m in a hard position. Do I keep pushing myself and working? Or do I start FMLA now and basically be on bed rest the rest of my pregnancy?

If I push it now, the doctor said it most likely will cause complications further in the pregnancy.

Seems like an easy choice – right? Just stop working. But with this house and the cost of twins – we really need to save all my money before these babies come.

Sigh.

Growing up and having adult decisions and problems seriously bites!

Love,

Brittney