New doctor and twin anxiety

So, with the news that we are having twins, I had to get a new Dr. I was going to the Nurse Midwives at IHC and they don’t do twins. Also, I wasn’t super impressed with them to be honest.

That left me in a bad place at 16.5 weeks pregnant with twins.

A girl here at work, who is a twin herself, recommended a Dr. England who delivers at the Riverton Hospital. Her mom is a labor and delivery nurse and works with him. She said in all her time working with him, he’s never recommended a C-section unless it was absolutely necessary. He’s delivered tons of sets of twins vaginally, as well as a couple sets of triplets.

I would really like to have these babies naturally. The statistics say that 50% of twins end up in a C-section. My guess is because of the doctors. Most doctors are so eager to just take the babies by C-section. It was really important to me to find a doctor who would not only allow me to try for a vaginal birth, but support me in it.

I called and couldn’t get an appointment until the 15^th of May. That is the earliest they could get me in. I am supposed to be leaving on the 3^rd for my girls trip to Costa Rica.

All weekend long I’ve been stressing about the twins. It is so incredibly hard not being able to see them, feel them or touch them.

And just making the mental shift from one baby to two.

I still can’t believe there are two babies inside me. I keep waiting for someone to tell me this is a joke. That there is only one baby.

And it’s so scary for me to know I am 17 weeks pregnant with TWINS and I haven’t been seen by a doctor. No one has inspected these gorgeous little babies. No one has looked to make sure all my stuffs are working right. It terrifies me in general, let alone I’m supposed to be going on a 10 day trip to Costa Rica.

I have been kind of a mental wreck the last couple of days. I still haven’t been sleeping well since I found out about the twins.

I called the doctor first thing his morning, and begged and pleaded to get an earlier appointment. They had a cancellation for tomorrow (4/29/14) at 3:30 and got me in.

I almost started crying in relief.

I know I am a worrier in nature and need to calm down. But seriously, I have never stressed like this in my LIFE. I worry about these little guys every moment of every day, and pray for them 24/7.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I worried like this. I was a total mess. Every ache and pain made me panic. As the pregnancy progressed, I calmed down. I got used to the aches and pains and knew they were normal. I began to have faith that the baby was ok.

Now I’m back at square one. Panicking and freaking out every moment. The emotional toll this has taken on me has been crazy. And my amazing husband is just as calm and faithful as always. I envy his ability to not stress out. He knows these babies are fine and healthy and hasn’t thought about it since.

I’m trying to work on it. I know I need to for my sanity as well as the wellbeing of the babies. I just can’t keep the panic at bay. The terrible “what ifs”.

I am just so grateful they were able to get me in to see the doctor tomorrow. I’ll know much more then!

Love,

Brittney

First Clothes from Mom and Dad

People have been so excited to give us clothes for these babies, which we so appreciate! My mom has been sending me packages to work with baby clothes, and most days that is all that is getting me to this hell hole - anticipating possible Thor and Loki clothes.

Trevor and I decided this weekend, as a kind of celebratory thing, we should get our first purchases for the babies. We haven't bought anything for the babies yet - when we thought it was just Thor we wanted to wait until we knew the gender. I did buy gender neutral onesies to tell Trevor we were pregnant - but that is the only thing I've purchased.

So, we went to Babies R Us and looked around. There were lots of cute clothes. We finally settled on this adorable matching set.

Duckies for Loki and football playing bear for Thor.

It was a pretty fun outing for us. It was way fun to be able to look in both the girl and boy sections.

Twins... still keep pinching myself to believe it's real.

Love, 

Brittney

PWB

In high school, Samar nicknamed me PWB.

It stands for Pregnant Woman Bladder.

I always had to pee so often, she said I was like a pregnant woman. We’d joke that when I acutally am pregnant I’m going to just have to camp out in the bathroom the whole pregnancy.

Well, I’m pregnant now and not with just one, but two babies.

I have to pee all the live long day.

And the night.

The nights are the worst. I wake up having to pee sometimes up to 5 times a night (and I am in the supposed easy trimester where you are supposed to pee the least out of the pregnancy. I can't imagine how bad it's going to get in the third trimester where I have two babies dancing on my bladder). 

I also wake up hungry and need to eat. Between peeing and being hungry, I don’t sleep well. I get so exasperated with peeing that I’ve started (unconsciously, sleepily) holding it all night. To the point where I wake up in a lot of pain around 5am. I don’t mean to do it, I’m just so sleepy and don’t want to get up, I just lay there pseudo sleeping until it gets so bad I have to.

Trevor usually tucks me into bed around 9 (any later than that and I just don’t function the next day) and then he lives the bachelor night life.

He’s started now, when he gets in bed around 11-12, to ask me,

“baby, do you need to pee?”

I always say no. I don’t want to get up! I’m cozy and groggy and sooo sleepy.

His next question is always,

“are you lying to me?”

I always say no but I always am.

He usually makes me get up and go anyways.

This, folks, is true love. Waking your pregnant wife up to make sure she pees.

Love,

Brittney

Telling the fam

After we heard the news, we were more than a little in shock. I don't think I could think clearly for...well, not sure if I still am.

After we walked out of the doctors office, we called my parents and Bob. Luckily it was still early enough here that they were awake.

We got them all on speaker and they kept asking, "So, is it a boy or girl!"

I said, "it's a girl!"

And then Trevor said "and a boy!"

Everyone started reacting after I said girl, and I think there was probably a lag, and they didn't get it...

They kept saying, "tell us! is it a boy or girl!"

And every time we said both, they kept fighting back on who was right and to just tell them already. 

I kept saying, "it is twins!" They kept saying, "seriously, boy or girl!"

I kept saying "TWINS!"

And they kept saying, "you are teasing us! What is it!?"

Finally, we got them to believe us. Dad and Bob went quiet... my mom kept saying "OH MY GOSH!!" over and over.

I called and told my other siblings. No one seemed super shocked. 

I dropped Trevor off at work, and I went home to make boy/girl cupcakes. We had planned to just tell the Schauerhamer's the same as my parents, "boy or girl". But when we found out it was twins, we had to do something better than that.

I made these cupcakes, then we frosted them really well so you couldn't see the color.

This is one proud daddy right here!

We handed everyone a cupcake (luckily everyone could make it in such short notice) and they opened them at the same time.

It was awesome! Some people shouted, "it's a girl!"

While others shouted, "it's a boy!"

Then they looked at each other confusedly and finally Trevor's mom said, "one of each?" 

It was pretty great.

And there you have it. The unveiling of the Schauerhamer twins!

Love,

Brittney

Thor and Loki

 We had our 16 week gender ultrasound today. I’ve been seeing the Nurse Midwives group at IHC, and they don’t tell you the gender until your 20 week anatomy scan. We had already had one ultrasound through them, but was too early to tell gender. They did say 70% they thought girl.

My friend’s Dr’s office offers a 16 week gender ultrasound, complete with a DVD and pictures, for $30. 

Pay $30 and find out the gender a month early. That was a no brainer for Trevor and I. It isn't affiliated with a Dr. and isn’t a medical exam. They said on the form we had to sign it was solely for “entertainment purposes” which I found hilarious.

The night before, I was so excited I didn’t really sleep. I’ve fallen in love with this baby. It was a tough road, coming so unexpectedly, but I’ve fallen for this little baby head over heels. I often would start tearing up because I wanted to hold Thor so much. The last week waiting was utter torture!

Trevor filmed our last ultrasound, which I’ve watched many times since. I asked him to film this one as well, and then we realized we get a DVD. So I thought he wasn’t going to film it. Luckily he did. They finally call us back and I lay on the table, bursting with excitement to see my baby and find out the gender.

There is a big screen in front of me showing the ultrasound. Before I even look at the screen the ultrasound tech says, “so you know you are having twins, right?”

Uh…. I can’t even describe what went through my mind at that point. I weakly get out, “What?”

She says it again. Twins. I then begin to tell her this isn’t funny, there is only one baby - we just had an ultrasound.

Thank goodness Trevor did decide to film this! We have this moment of utter shock all on camera. The best part is he is filming what is obviously twins on the screen, while I haven’t seen them yet, I’m looking at the tech and arguing with her about teasing me about twins.

Trevor is nervously laughing in the background. It’s awesome.

At the end I say, “What do we do?” and Trevor says, “take care of them.” Thank goodness I’ve got this awesome man by my side! I’m so grateful for him!

As soon as she said twins and I saw these gorgeous babies on the screen, I started crying. It was such an emotional moment. I love how the video shows the emotional aspect of it, while also being utterly hilarious.

We’ve got a set of boy/girl twins.

Turns out Thor (baby B) was too lonely and needed his sister (Baby A). We’re calling her Loki. Seems fitting, being the sister of Thor. Plus I’ve been informed Loki is a Hawaiian name and means flower. So there you have it. The true story of Thor and Loki Schauerhamer.

We’re thinking Oliver Thor and Elaina Loki. Kididng. Well, maybe not. We’ll see J

We are completely in shock. Our world has been turned upside down. This pregnancy was totally unplanned (and shouldn’t have been able to happen in the first place…) and has taken me 2 months to accept and another to get excited for. And now we’re told at 17 weeks it’s TWINS! I feel like I just found out I’m expecting all over again.

Financially, physically, emotionally – in every way this changes our plans and our lives dramatically.

It has helped validate this pregnancy though – I’ve been so sick and so tired and all my symptoms seem worse than other pregnant moms at my stage. I was starting to get down on myself thinking I’m just weak or I’m being a baby.

Finding out about the twins makes everything fit together. Getting big so fast, being so so so sick and tired, the achy joints already. It all fits.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I had a dream I was pregnant with twins. I’m not a prophetic dreamer, so part of me brushed it off. The other part wondered if the Lord was preparing me for something. 

Then my stomach popped out way early. I thought for sure it was twins. I kept telling Trevor, “I’m too big for a single baby. It has to be twins.” He did research at work one day on twin symptoms, haha. He’s so cute. When I went in for the first ultrasound, I was super nervous to find out if it was twins or not. And the tech only found one baby (which I think was Loki. She is in front, Thor is in back. Plus she said she thinks 70% girl, so that is my guess) so we left completely relieved that there is just one!

 

Then to find out over a month later there are TWO!

 

And all the ultrasound pictures! I’m already the crazy mom who posts hundreds of pictures almost the same of her kids because she can’t choose the best one – they are all amazing! Even via ultrasound I think these guys are ADORABLE! 

 

TWINS!

 

 

 

 

 

Baby A - Female - LOKI

 

Baby B - Male - THOR

 

 

Tribute to the Worlds’ Greatest Husband

Seriously.

This pregnancy hasn’t been easy on me. I don’t think pregnancy in general is ever easy, but holy moly is it harder than I ever expected.

I’ve been really sick. I don’t throw up, I dry heave. I get sick like I need to throw up, and then just dry heave over and over and feel so sick afterwards. If I start in the morning, the rest of the day goes downhill from there. And occasionally my body will give me a nice surprise by actually throwing up, when I’ve become conditioned to thinking no matter how sick I feel, nothing will come out (this happened one morning and luckily I was holding my breakfast plate and threw up all my breakfast over my remaining breakfast. Gross. Or the time Trevor asked me if I wanted a banana in my lunch and I thought about eating a banana and got sick).

Being this sick means I can’t do much. I can’t go in the kitchen, which means I can’t make food, open the fridge (or be in the living room when the fridge is open), do dishes or even fill up my own glass with water. It’s been so frustrating to me to be so utterly helpless. I’ve had to depend on Trevor for basically everything nutrition wise. I’ll try to get myself water and the sink sets me off and I’ll just start dry heaving and have to lay down till the nausea subsides.

One day I stayed home from work and had to warm up the lunch Trevor left for me. After several unsuccessful attempts to get near the food, I sprayed the kitchen with fabreeze, stuck a Preggie Pop (these things actually do work! They help a lot with the nausea) in my mouth, covered my face except for my eyes in a shirt and was able to get the food in the microwave.

This is my life.

I struggle to allow anyone to help me, let alone ASK for it. It’s been something I’ve had to work on in my marriage. Being this sick has given me no choice but to ask Trevor for just about everything.

On the mornings I get frustrated and fed up and just want to be able to do something for myself, I’ll start to fill up my water bottle or get something from the fridge and immediately I’ll start dry heaving. Trevor will yell from the other room, “I don’t even feel bad for you right now! All you have to do is ask me and I’ll help you.”

Our mornings consist of Trevor waking up while I struggle to accept I have to get out of bed/try to come back from my coma-like state. He makes us breakfast. He comes and gets me out of bed while singing and smiling and telling me he loves me. We eat breakfast. He does the dishes. He fills our water bottles and packs our snacks/lunches.

I try and eat, get dressed and brush my teeth without dying.

EVERY SINGLE MORNING.

The man doesn’t complain. EVER. Not only does he never complain, he is ALWAYS HAPPY. He is always happy to make breakfast, do the dishes, grocery shop.

I’m not kidding. I keep thinking he’s going to get frustrated with me over my lack of being able to do anything, even get out of bed (pregnancy fatigue IS SERIOUSLY NOT OK) but he doesn’t.

I can’t go grocery shopping. I walk into the store and try but get sick and have to leave. He’s done all our grocery shopping since we got pregnant.

The fatigue has been brutal as well, which means we still haven’t unpacked/clean from our move. Life in the cave is messy and chaotic and congested and it’s driving me nuts. But between being sick and exhausted I haven’t made much headway.

There are a myriad of other symptoms I get to deal with on a daily basis, but the sickness is the worst.

Now that I’m in the second trimester, I’m starting to feel much better.

I can now go into the grocery store without getting sick and having to leave. I’ll still gag sometimes but usually can plug through it.

I’m able to help with cooking! I still can’t do meat, but I can help with veggies and the rest of the meals.

It’s slowly getting better.

This pregnancy has definitely brought Trevor and I closer together. It’s taught me a lot about humility and asking for and letting Trevor help me. It’s also shown me what an amazing man I married.

It’s given him the opportunity to show me how much he loves me, and how willing he is to help me, no matter what. And his attitude! Holy cow. He is always helpful, always happy. I know it’s exhausting on him to carry the brunt of most of this stuff I can’t help with anymore. Or am too tired to help with.

I love him so much, and am so grateful for all he does for me every day.

I am so lucky to be married to my best friend and the best man in the world!

Love,

Brittney