Love, Brittney

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

I woke up this morning, put on capris and open toed heels with no socks - and walked out my door to find this:


Thats right, last night was a snow storm.


Luckily my winter gloves were still sitting on my kitchen counter.

Luckily I just got those cumbersome snow tires removed. I mean - I have been driving with them on illegally for a month. I figured it was ok to break the law - considering the snow has continued to fall. I falsely assumed that by the end of April - I was pretty safe to take them off. Not. Thank goodness I have some serious winter/snow driving-skills.

I think Utah should seriously consider upping the snow tire legal date from March 31 to some time in May. Just to be safe.

The trippiest part of the whole deal? I woke up to birds chirping. I cleaned my car off to birds chirping. Something about that just seems... off.

I'm trying to convince my mom to go up the mountain with me one last time... one last super sweet run in fresh powder.. UMMMMM...

(But don't worry - I checked the next 10 days' forecast - just to see - and in a week it's supposed to be up to almost 70)

Love,
Brittney

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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Random



  • Julie hates this. I have it written on my whiteboard. She says it bugs her because its true and she gets mad every time she looks at it. Ha! I told her I'd take it down when her karma improves.
  • Ever heard of P90X? I've officially begun. There are a group of guys from my work who do it at 6:20 in our office gym every morning. That's right, folks. 6:20. Which means I need to LEAVE my house at 5:50. I've done it for 2 days. I like it – I am sore… all over. I doubt I'll be able to walk tomorrow. Seriously. Today was Plyometrics (jump training). Does that scare you enough? It did me. One of the guys told me his first time he made it half way through and then almost threw up so he laid down the rest of the time. He is not a wuss nor is he obese. So I was terrified. I hate throwing up. Anyways, I did it today. AND – I did as good as the guys who have been doing this for a while. YEAH, BABY! Personal triumph. They were all super impressed. I was impressed. I felt absolutely fit. There was one minor mishap, but I shant disclose that here. I felt really weird about being the only girl, but they are so sweet and nice to me.
  • My office is FREEZING. I have been shivering all day. I have a sweater on and my coat around my legs and still I'm dying. I can't focus when I'm this cold. Hence my blog break.
  • This is what my world looked like on April 1. So much for April showers bring May flowers. Not that I'm complaining – I LOVE the snow. I love how the trees are blossoming and are pink and perfect, and then there's the snow on them, making it the most superb sight ever.
  • Tight Pants Guy is back. He finished his contract and has been gone for a long time - but he's back. I'll try not to embarrass myself by disclosing personal and inappropriate information.
  • I'm currently obsessed with these songs:
    • Highway 20 Ride by the Zac Brown Band.

    • Need you Now by Lady Antebellum
    • Bella's Song by Edward Cullen (from Twighlight, yes. But don't mistake me for a Twilight lover/fanatic. Give the song a chance before you judge me)
    • Mr.Brightside by The Killers (Seriously – who doesn't love The Killers? For an AWESOME rendition of the song, visit here. One day, I want to be that good on the violin. Maybe I should start practicing again.)

    These are the songs I listen to over and over all day long. I put my earphones in, listen to my tunes and drown the office out. Which is awesome, considering I work in the middle of the hall. Pretending I can't hear is the best method of work/people avoidance I've found yet.
  • My little sister had surgery on her foot. She is doing really well. She's a tough cookie. So my mom is in town to help her out. That leaves Dad, Taylor and Bobbie alone in Saudi. For the first time, more of our family is currently in the States than in Saudi. Weird.
  • This week, I like these words:
    • Scapegrace: One who is wild and reckless
    • Aspersion: Verbal exhibition of bad temper
    • Aberrant: Deviating from the normal or correct
    • Aggrandize: To make greater, increase – to exaggerate
    • Amalgamate: To unite or mix – n: Amalgamation
    • Wastrel: A person who wastes; a loafer
  • I drink copious amounts of water.
  • I'm going dancing tongiht. Not my favorite country dancing, or clubbing dancing, but Pride and Prejudice (which is my favorite movie and one of my favorite books) dancing. Seriously. The Elizabethean/English Country dancing. You know, when the guys stand on one side, with the girls on the other, and they dance. I've always wanted to learn - and tonight I shall! I can't wait.
  • Alpha is over. Weird. SO weird. I now have free time to do... other things. Like tonight, I should be at our Tuesday officer meeting. But it's OVER. So I am free to go dancing. Weird. I'll have to post our end of the year pictures.
  • I need to get back to work, even if I am freezing.
Love,
Brittney

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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Tulip Festival


Ron and Bill


Nabora


Ron


Ron's Pics:



Nabora's Pic:


Bill and Musa's pics:





After, we went to the dinosaur museum. On the way I saw a car with the below sticker on it. Naturally, I had to take a picture and send it to Rambo. I would have sent it to The Boy, too, but he's in Saudi. So this is for you, Tator Tots:


Love,
Brittney

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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Corporate Babysitter


Scene:

Location: A Conference room (Sariah – my favorite large conference room. My favorite smaller conference room is Leah) at the Riverton Office Building.

Time: 2:00ish

Purpose: Weekly QA/DEV Manager meeting

Participants: 9 managers. All male. All above 40 years old. All highly educated. Obviously all successful at their jobs (I mean – they are managers, after all). And me.

The meeting begins with a Devotional based on ICS's Cultural Beliefs. It's supposed to be spiritual. John chooses the 3rd Cultural Belief - Help Others Succeed: I am successful only when those whom I work with and serve are successful.

It turns into a debate on the proper usage of whom vs. who and the British take on the matter. Naturally, The Office was quoted as a source- and rightly so. I may or may not have been the individual to note that The Office has an excellent tutorial on the proper usage of whom.

John was called Dwight several times, and it was demanded that he redact his statement. He didn't.

We finally make it to our second agenda item.

Brigham begins fidgeting in his chair.

John gets super agitated and begins glaring at Brigham. Brigham is focused and doesn't notice, so John glares at me. Like I can do something to stop it? Brigham sees me looking across the table, at John, past him, so he smiles. I like Brigham.

Brigham begins to play with the armrests on his chair – sliding them back and forth.

John gets super tense, and even more agitated. If looks could kill, Brigham would be seriously hurting.

Finally, John snaps, and bursts out,

"Brigham STOP!"

Everyone looks at John, except Clay. (Clay saw Arabic on my Facebook page and is typing the words into Google, translating them. He is teaching himself Arabic off Rosetta Stone. He is eccentric. Why is my Facebook page up in a meeting, you ask? Because one of our new interns is named Tyler Oppie. No one believes that's his real name. We spent 10 minutes discussing how everyone will call him Opie Taylor, and wondering what he looks like? So I looked him up on Facebook – he's married. That's all I could tell. Besides the fact that he looks super serious and has bushy black hair. I feel bad for him – he has no idea what awaits him during his time here.) Brigham looks shocked. No one says anything.

Dave, who is running the meeting, begins speaking again.

Scott begins coughing.

Brett begins clicking his pen.

Brigham goes back to adjusting the armrests.

I'm laughing hysterically.

Finally, all the commotion brings Clay out of his Google/Arabic world, and he looks up from his phone and asks what's going on? So the whole situation is repeated to him.

We get through the next agenda item.

Brett is looking at his phone, and starts giggling. He passes it to Scott. Scott begins laughing. Troy leans over to take the phone.

Brigham: "What?"

Jason: "Now you have to share with everyone"

Troy busts up.

Dave: "Send it in an email"

Brett: " I just did."

Everyone eagerly awaits what is so funny on Brett's phone. Brett, Troy and Scott are still laughing.

Dave checks his email and opens the following picture:


We never really got back to the meeting after that. Everyone was in hysterics. For a long time.

This is why, when anyone asks me what I do for a living, I tell them I am a Corporate Babysitter.

Love,
Brittney

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Friday, April 16, 2010

Saxophone #2

Now that I sit in the middle of the hallway, there is always tons of commotion. I do well in commotion – I can concentrate and multi-task with the best of them (I am the oldest of 5 kids...). I am super good at voice recognition – a rare and almost useless talent – but I can’t for the life of me tell when MY phone is ringing, versus when one of the hundred people sitting within a hundred feet of me’s phone is ringing. This could have something to do with the fact that everyone has the exact same electronic ring tone. My good voice recognition fails me there.

There are so many times I’ll be down the hallway, and hear what sounds like, to me, to be my phone ringing – only to run down the hallway to get to my phone, to see the guy behind me coyly pick up his phone. Or I’ll cut a conversation short to dodge back to my desk, only to see Julie grab her phone. Sigh. I can never win.

If I miss my phone, I get a voicemail. I have this unusual and illogical loathing of voicemails. It means I have to handle an issue later versus taking care of it now. It means I’ll have to call the guy back. It means I’ll have to turn off my music, put my earphones in, turn up the volume on my computer, wait until WindowsMedia finally decides to load, listen to the voicemail, close a million boxes down (YES I really want to close Windows Media down. YES I really want to close the voicemail prompter. NO I don’t want to change the format. YES I want to close the email that alerts me I have a voicemail), turn back down the volume on my computer, and press play on my music. And finally, delete the voicemail – because they take up a lot of space, and you only get so much space in your inbox. Believe me, I know. I’ve had to get a bigger inbox. Twice.

Can you see the nuisance and workload-increaser voice mails are?

So – today after a couple dozen ridiculous phone encounters - I decided I couldn’t get any work done until I had a new ring tone. This was now a productivity issue.

(Have you ever seen the episode of The Office where Jim won’t work until Karen gets the bag of chips she requires? This was like that.)

I finally figured out, using numbers, how to get to my ringtones. I then began to listen to each of them. Julie came to listen and give her inputs as to which one she would allow me to have I should get.

I personally wanted the ring tone Are You There? Which offers a lovely male tenor saying, (wait for it…) Are you there? Are you there? Are you there? Julie said if I chose that one, she would throw something at me every time my phone rang. That encouraged me much more than dissuaded me, I’m afraid.

However, in the end – I went with Saxophone #2. It is a nice little ditty – and has an unexpected end. Which is why I like it. It goes all low and mysterious at the end.

Also – if the song, “There’s a place in France where the naked ladies silly people dance, there’s a hole in the wall where the men monkeys can see it all” had a theme song – Saxophone #2 would be it (The silly people/monkeys is the version I taught my siblings. I wonder if they even know the real version…?).

People walked by during this whole selection process and added input and validation to the whole- I need a new ringtone issue– so now they’re calling my phone to see what I picked. Turns out no one likes Saxophone #2 but me. Oh well. Myabe if I told them my association to the Place in France song, they'd understand. But I'm not sure how appropriate singing that song to my male co-workers would be. I'm thinking it'd probably be pretty frowned upon.

UPDATE: So my phone just rang for the first time unexpectedly (every other time I knew someone was calling to hear it...) and #1 - it startled me. #2 - everyone in the hallway stopped and looked at me and #3 I laughed so hard I could barely answer the phone. I was still laughing when I finally picked it up, and the person on the other end said, "I'm looking for Brittney?" and I said this is she - and he said, "I... didn't recognize your voice..." Probably because I was laughing so hard.

Julie looked at me and once she could talk (she was laughing too) and said, "thats not gunna work. Why does it go down at the end like that? (my favorite part) It sounds like an elephant sitting down."

Looks like I'll need a new ring tone.

On the bright side - I wore all yellow today, in honor of summer. I look the sun. In a good way.

Also, Julie started the day off by falling out of her chair. That was awesome.

We've laughed so hard we've cried twice today. I think we've both had too little sleep, worked too much and need a weekend. It must be Friday.

Love,
Brittney

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Thursday, April 15, 2010

Amoretti LXXV: One Day I Wrote Her Name

 Amoretti LXXV: One Day I Wrote Her Name Upon The Strand

One day I wrote her name upon the strand,
but came the waves and washèd it away:
agayne I wrote it with a second hand,
but came the tyde, and made my paynes his pray.

Vayne man, sayd she, that doest in vaine assay,
a mortall thing so to immortalize,
for I my selve shall lyke to this decay,
and eek my name bee wypèd out lykewize.
Not so, (quod I) let baser things devize
to dy in dust, but you shall live by fame:
my verse your vertues rare shall eternize,
and in the hevens wryte your glorious name.

Where whenas death shall all the world subdew,
our love shall live, and later life renew.

-Edmund Spenser (1552-1599)

[A series of eighty-eight sonnets, published in 1595 and probably written between 1592 and 1594 during the poet's wooing of Elizabeth Boyle.]

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Ode On Indolence


'They toil not, neither do they spin.'*

One morn before me were three figures seen,
With bowed necks, and joined hands, side-faced;
And one behind the other stepp'd serene,
In placid sandals, and in white robes graced:
They pass'd, like figures on a marble urn,
When shifted round to see the other side;
They came again; as when the urn once more
Is shifted round, the first seen shades return;
And they were strange to me, as may betide
With vases, to one deep in Phidian lore.

How is it, shadows, that I knew ye not?
How came ye muffled in so hush a masque?
Was it a silent deep-disguised plot
To steal away, and leave without a task
My idle days? Ripe was the drowsy hour;
The blissful cloud of summer-indolence
Benumb'd my eyes; my pulse grew less and less;
Pain had no sting, and pleasure's wreath no flower.
O, why did ye not melt, and leave my sense
Unhaunted quite of all but - nothingness?

A third time pass'd they by, and, passing, turn'd
Each one the face a moment whiles to me;
Then faded, and to follow them I burn'd
And ached for wings, because I knew the three:
The first was a fair maid, and Love her name;
The second was Ambition, pale of cheek,
And ever watchful with fatigued eye;
The last, whom I love more, the more of blame
Is heap'd upon her, maiden most unmeek, -
I knew to be my demon Poesy.

They faded, and, forsooth! I wanted wings:
O folly! What is Love? and where is it?
And for that poor Ambition - it springs
From a man's little heart's short fever-fit;
For Poesy! - no, - she has not a joy, -
At least for me, - so sweet as drowsy noons,
And evenings steep'd in honied indolence;
O, for an age so shelter'd from annoy,
That I may never know how change the moons,
Or hear the voice of busy common-sense!

A third time came they by: - alas! wherefore?
My sleep had been embroider'd with dim dreams;
My soul had been a lawn besprinkled o'er
With flowers, and stirring shades, and baffled beams:
The morn was clouded, but no shower fell,
Though in her lids hung the sweet tears of May;
The open casement press'd a new-leaved vine,
Let in the budding warmth and throstle's lay;
O shadows! 'twas a time to bid farewell!
Upon your skirts had fallen no tears of mine.

So, ye three ghosts, adieu! Ye cannot raise
My head cool-bedded in the flowery grass;
For I would not be dieted with praise,
A pet-lamb in a sentimental farce!
Fade softly from my eyes, and be once more
In masque-like figures on the dreary urn;
Farewell! I yet have visions for the night,
And for the day faint visions there is store;
Vanish, ye phantoms, from my idle spright,
Into the clouds, and never more return!

-John keats, 1819

*The epigraph is from Matthew 6:28.

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Ode On A Grecian Urn


Thou still unravished bride of quietness,
Thou foster child of silence and slow time,
Sylvan historian, who canst thus express
A flowery tale more sweetly than our rhyme:
What leaf-fringed legend haunts about thy shape
Of deities or mortals, or of both,
In Tempe or the dales of Arcady?
What men or gods are these? What maidens loath?
What mad pursuit? What struggle to escape?
What pipes and timbrels? What wild ecstasy?

Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard
Are sweeter; therefore, ye soft pipes, play on;
Not to the sensual ear, but, more endeared,
Pipe to the spirit dities of no tone.
Fair youth, beneath the trees, thou canst not leave
Thy song, nor ever can those trees be bare;
Bold Lover, never, never canst thou kiss,
Though winning near the goal---yet, do not grieve;
She cannot fade, though thou hast not thy bliss
Forever wilt thou love, and she be fair!

Ah, happy, happy boughs! that cannot shed
Your leaves, nor ever bid the Spring adieu;
And, happy melodist, unweari-ed,
Forever piping songs forever new;
More happy love! more happy, happy love!
Forever warm and still to be enjoyed,
Forever panting, and forever young;
All breathing human passion far above,
That leaves a heart high-sorrowful and cloyed,
A burning forehead, and a parching tongue.

Who are these coming to the sacrifice?
To what green altar, O mysterious priest,
Lead'st thou that heifer lowing at the skies,
And all her silken flanks with garlands dressed?
What little town by river or sea shore,
Or mountain-built with peaceful citadel,
Is emptied of this folk, this pious morn?
And, little town, thy streets for evermore
Will silent be; and not a soul to tell
Why thou art desolate, can e'er return.

O Attic shape! Fair attitude! with brede
Of marble men and maidens overwrought,
With forest branches and the trodden weed;
Thou, silent form, dost tease us out of thought
As doth eternity. Cold Pastoral!
When old age shall this generation waste,
Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe
Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say'st,
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty"---that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

-John Keats, 1820

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The Lady Of Shalott



On either side the river lie
Long fields of barley and of rye,
That clothe the wold and meet the sky;
And thro' the field the road runs by
To many-tower'd Camelot;
And up and down the people go,
Gazing where the lilies blow
Round an island there below,
The island of Shalott.

Willows whiten, aspens quiver,
Little breezes dusk and shiver
Through the wave that runs for ever
By the island in the river
Flowing down to Camelot.
Four grey walls, and four grey towers,
Overlook a space of flowers,
And the silent isle imbowers
The Lady of Shalott.

By the margin, willow veil'd,
Slide the heavy barges trail'd
By slow horses; and unhail'd
The shallop flitteth silken-sail'd
Skimming down to Camelot:
But who hath seen her wave her hand?
Or at the casement seen her stand?
Or is she known in all the land,
The Lady of Shalott?

Only reapers, reaping early,
In among the bearded barley
Hear a song that echoes cheerly
From the river winding clearly;
Down to tower'd Camelot;
And by the moon the reaper weary,
Piling sheaves in uplands airy,
Listening, whispers, " 'Tis the fairy
Lady of Shalott."

There she weaves by night and day
A magic web with colours gay.
She has heard a whisper say,
A curse is on her if she stay
To look down to Camelot.
She knows not what the curse may be,
And so she weaveth steadily,
And little other care hath she,
The Lady of Shalott.

And moving through a mirror clear
That hangs before her all the year,
Shadows of the world appear.
There she sees the highway near
Winding down to Camelot;
There the river eddy whirls,
And there the surly village churls,
And the red cloaks of market girls
Pass onward from Shalott.

Sometimes a troop of damsels glad,
An abbot on an ambling pad,
Sometimes a curly shepherd lad,
Or long-hair'd page in crimson clad
Goes by to tower'd Camelot;
And sometimes through the mirror blue
The knights come riding two and two.
She hath no loyal Knight and true,
The Lady of Shalott.

But in her web she still delights
To weave the mirror's magic sights,
For often through the silent nights
A funeral, with plumes and lights
And music, went to Camelot;
Or when the Moon was overhead,
Came two young lovers lately wed.
"I am half sick of shadows," said
The Lady of Shalott.

A bow-shot from her bower-eaves,
He rode between the barley sheaves,
The sun came dazzling thro' the leaves,
And flamed upon the brazen greaves
Of bold Sir Lancelot.
A red-cross knight for ever kneel'd
To a lady in his shield,
That sparkled on the yellow field,
Beside remote Shalott.

The gemmy bridle glitter'd free,
Like to some branch of stars we see
Hung in the golden Galaxy.
The bridle bells rang merrily
As he rode down to Camelot:
And from his blazon'd baldric slung
A mighty silver bugle hung,
And as he rode his armor rung
Beside remote Shalott.

All in the blue unclouded weather
Thick-jewell'd shone the saddle-leather,
The helmet and the helmet-feather
Burn'd like one burning flame together,
As he rode down to Camelot.
As often thro' the purple night,
Below the starry clusters bright,
Some bearded meteor, burning bright,
Moves over still Shalott.

His broad clear brow in sunlight glow'd;
On burnish'd hooves his war-horse trode;
From underneath his helmet flow'd
His coal-black curls as on he rode,
As he rode down to Camelot.
From the bank and from the river
He flashed into the crystal mirror,
"Tirra lirra," by the river
Sang Sir Lancelot.

She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces through the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom,
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look'd down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror crack'd from side to side;
"The curse is come upon me," cried
The Lady of Shalott.

In the stormy east-wind straining,
The pale yellow woods were waning,
The broad stream in his banks complaining.
Heavily the low sky raining
Over tower'd Camelot;
Down she came and found a boat
Beneath a willow left afloat,
And around about the prow she wrote
The Lady of Shalott.

And down the river's dim expanse
Like some bold seer in a trance,
Seeing all his own mischance --
With a glassy countenance
Did she look to Camelot.
And at the closing of the day
She loosed the chain, and down she lay;
The broad stream bore her far away,
The Lady of Shalott.

Lying, robed in snowy white
That loosely flew to left and right --
The leaves upon her falling light --
Thro' the noises of the night,
She floated down to Camelot:
And as the boat-head wound along
The willowy hills and fields among,
They heard her singing her last song,
The Lady of Shalott.

Heard a carol, mournful, holy,
Chanted loudly, chanted lowly,
Till her blood was frozen slowly,
And her eyes were darkened wholly,
Turn'd to tower'd Camelot.
For ere she reach'd upon the tide
The first house by the water-side,
Singing in her song she died,
The Lady of Shalott.

Under tower and balcony,
By garden-wall and gallery,
A gleaming shape she floated by,
Dead-pale between the houses high,
Silent into Camelot.
Out upon the wharfs they came,
Knight and Burgher, Lord and Dame,
And around the prow they read her name,
The Lady of Shalott.

Who is this? And what is here?
And in the lighted palace near
Died the sound of royal cheer;
And they crossed themselves for fear,
All the Knights at Camelot;
But Lancelot mused a little space
He said, "She has a lovely face;
God in his mercy lend her grace,
The Lady of Shalott."

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Monday, April 12, 2010

Dear Life:

I'm not sure how I feel about you today.
I would much rather have stayed home and slept the day away.

I'm covered in hives - and I don't know why.
If I were a lesser person, I'd just sit down and cry.

I can't concentrate and I'm becoming a Benadryl junkie.
I hate taking meds - they make me feel funkie.

It's been over a week and I'm still splotchy and itchy and mad
If you would PLEASE vacate, I'd be ever so glad.

Love,
Brittney

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Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Memories of my Grandma and Grandpa Reynolds


Marvelle Rosetta Jones Reynolds

When I was in my first year of college, she would bake cookies and send them to me in boxes.

We’re talking a BOX full of cookies.

My favorite cookies to that date were peanut butter cookies – and she made them well. Too well. She’d always make them for me, because she knew they were my favorite. She’d send these fabulous sugar cookies, too. With sprinkles.

By the time she made them, sent them to me, and I received them – mostly they were rock solid within a day.

But who doesn’t love a good rock-cookie anyways, right?

If you put them in the microwave, they softened right up.

I had forgotten that until just now. I think if I had remembered that story at her funeral, I would have cried.

It’s a good memory and makes me feel loved, and miss her.

Maybe I should make cookies and send them to someone? Hmmm…

Since I shared one on my Grandma Reynolds, I should probably share one on my Grandpa Reynolds.

Memories of Grandpa
John Wesley Reynolds

I didn’t get to know my Grandpa Reynolds well.

I remember he could do a killer Donald Duck voice.

I know he served in WWII.

My main memory of grandpa was when I was very little. When we would come for a visit from Alaska on occasion, we’d stay in their house. I loved waking up to the sun streaming in from the big windows, and hearing the birds sing. It was perfect.

The backyard was huge. The first half was grass and had a giant mental swingset grandpa built for the grandkids. It had a teeter-totter swing. If you swung high enough your could 1 – see over into the neighbors jungle of a yard – which is super mysterious, even to this day – and 2 – the swing would start to lift off the ground, scaring you to death and letting you know you rock at pumping.

The second half of the backyard was a good sized garden. I remember the corn and grapes mostly. Grandpa would work in that garden from sunup – it was immaculate.

I’d wake up to the sun and birds, and jump out of bed. I’d go downstairs - and grandpa would have left breakfast out for me. I’d eat and then join him in the garden.

We came to visit towards the end of his life, when he was getting sick and his memory was failing. I woke up to the birds and sun, just like always. I ran downstairs – and there was no breakfast. Grandpa was in the garden working without me. I remember the sadness that crept in. He hadn’t remembered our tradition. He was bedridden not too long after that, and died shortly after.

That memory, of him leaving out breakfast and working in the garden with him, will always be one of my favorite childhood memories.

Love,
Brittney

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Monday, April 5, 2010

Easter

God's Grace

There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit.

Eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak....

"I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright.

I stopped the lad and asked, "What do you have there, son?"

"Just some old birds," came the reply.

"What are you going to do with them?" I asked.

"Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered. "I'm gonna tease 'em and pull out their feathers to make 'em fight. I'm gonna have a real good time.."

"But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do then?"

"Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy. "They like birds. I'll take 'em to them."

The pastor was silent for a moment. "How much do you want for those birds, son?"

"Huh?? !!! Why, you don't want them birds, mister. They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing. They ain't even pretty!"

"How much?" the pastor asked again. The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, "$10?"

The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand. In a flash, the boy was gone. The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free. Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story:

One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught a world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"

"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.

Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other.

I'm really gonna have fun!"

"And what will you do when you are done with them?" Jesus asked.

"Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly.

"How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.

"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you. You don't want those people!!"

"How much? He asked again.

Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood, tears and your life."

Jesus said, "DONE!" Then He paid the price.

The pastor picked up the cage and walked from the pulpit.

Love,
Brittney

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