Nutella

The Johnsons are crazy for Nutella.

 

Trev found this at Costco, which is a Johnson's dream.

 

 

At our home, when you went to grab some Nutella, more often than not there was a rogue pretzel or cracker hiding out.

 

One time Brother Sowers came over to see dad. I took him into the "love shack" where dad was watching TV. Dad was sitting there, legs on the coffee table, his potbelly sticking out and resting on top of his stomach was a jar of Nutella. Dad had lost half a pretzel in the Nutella, and had Nutella on his face, and his hand was deep in the jar trying to get the pretzel, with nutella all over his hands.

 

I was embarrassed for him.

 

And that is how Johnson's love Nutella.

 

Love,

Brittney

Karma

One of my worst fears came true today.

One time, when I was in college, there was this girl walking through one of the buildings, obviously late for a class and hurrying to get there – and as she darted past me, I saw her skirt was tucked into her underwear.

I wanted to tell her, but she darted past me so quickly, and I was shy to tell her.

This was back in the day when I was unfunctionally shy.  I’m still shy, but I’ve come A LONG ways from where I was.

I still remember that moment, wanting to tell her but feeling too shy, to uncomfortable, and she was past me so quickly I’d have to run after her, which made it harder for me to get the courage to do it.

I’ve always felt so badly about not telling her. How humiliating that moment must have been for her, and I could have helped alleviate it. I still to this day feel guilty over it.

A couple of weeks ago, (well August 1, if you must know… it was our 1 month anniversary, and Trevor being the stud that he is, took me to a surprise sushi dinner to celebrate) Trevor and I were at a restaurant. A lady got up at the table over, and as she did I noticed she had a blood spot on the back of her skirt. As she walked by, I told her.

Having that happen is one of my worst fears. She hustled to the bathroom, holding her purse behind her. I was pretty proud of myself for getting the courage to tell her. I was shy to do it, but knew she had to know. How humiliating for her. I told Trev the regret I had, not telling the underwear girl her situation.

I kind of felt like I’d made peace. I’d cancelled out that regret with a good deed. Booya!!!

So today I stopped by my favorite restaurant, also the place Trev took me to dinner the day he proposed.  I was grabbing lunch for me and lunch for us tomorrow. I had to pee, as I always do. So upon entering, I ran to the bathroom. I then walked to the front of the restaurant, and stood there at the counter waiting for someone to come help me.

I’ve been standing there at least 3 minutes, and a waitress walks behind me and kind of mumbles something and points to my skirt. I think she’s complimenting my skirt and feel all cool.

I grab it to reaffirm – yeah it’s cute! And lo and behold – the back is missing. Basically it is TUCKED INTO MY UNDERWEAR. The whole back. All of it. I’ve just walked through the whole restaurant and am standing at the counter with a giant white butt exposed to the whole establishment.

There are people sitting right behind me, I can see them. I stare ahead, un-tuck it.

As luck would have it, my order isn’t ready. So I have to sit at a table and wait. Surrounded by all these people who have seen me practically naked. Then the waitress who had also witnessed my great white booty gave me my food, and I bolted.

I’ve been waiting for this day to finally catch up with me. Sigh.

So moral of the story is, help your fellow women out! If you don’t, one day, even if it is 6 years later, you will suffer the same fate.

You know what they say about karma….

Love,

Brittney

PS- 

Also if we’re talking about karma… I’m not sure I ever captured on my blog the time Camree made me staple my finger.

One time, Camree stapled her finger and called to tell me. I told her she was a moron. Who staples their finger? Honestly. The way she did it didn’t help… she had a little mini stapler attached to her backpack, and was swinging it/playing with it on her way to class and stapled her finger.

I had no pity, only giggles about the situation.

THE NEXT DAY I STAPLED MY FINGER.

I kid you not. I’ve never in my life stapled my finger. Or any other part of my body. My stapler at work ran out of staples, and I added more but it got jammed. As I was trying to get it to work, I stapled my finger. And it HURT.

I’ve NEVER stapled my finger before. The day after Camree staples her finger and I mock her for it, I staple mine.

OH KARMA. YOU FICKLE FRIEND.

I LOVE BOBAROONIE

Few things in life make me as happy as talking to my little sister, McKenzie Rose (aka Bob, Bobbie, Bobaroonie, Little Bob, Yezzin, Yez, Butt Butt, But face, Rosie, Rosie toes, Tough Tootin' Baby). 

Today I got to talk to her for over an hour. 

AN HOUR OF PURE UNADULTERATED BOB TIME. 

There were many gems from said conversation. I wish I could remember them all.

The best one without question arose when I asked her about boys...

"Maybe when I'm 25, have a degree and trained 2 whales I’ll consider getting married."

(For more Bob gems, see here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here (last paragraph), here, here, here, here, here, and here (note - there are a ton more of these.... these are just some of the best).

Sister Best Friends

I save everything Bob ever made me/wrote me since she was born. I’m sort of a packrat to begin with, but throwing something out she made me is just too hard…

I’ve been trying to work on my hoarding. I don’t want to end up like the crazy people on TLC.

Part of that endeavor was throwing out things that sorta made me cry inside. Many of which I’ve taken pictures of and posted on my blog (an example would be this and this).

I found this little gem in my de-junking of my bedroom:

Bob made this out of a toilet paper roll (um… obviously) and decorated it. She wrote “Best Friends” and "sisters"on it, and cut it in half – giving half to me and she kept half.

HOW CUTE IS THAT?

So I kept it… for, um… years. A lot of years. I love that girl! No one else I'd rather be sister best friends with (except for you know, Camree and Mikail)!

Love, 

Brittney

Flipper the Dolphin Car

While going through my room de-junking, I found this delightful gem:

It prompted me to write a list of Flipper the Dolphin Car memories

(You'll see how this relates in a minute...)

• Getting her! Having a car I could drive anywhere I wanted. The freedom that came with it. Owning my first car!
• First real road trip with Camree, Taylor, McKenzie and Nichole (my old roommate) from St.George to Disney Land!!

o   As we were driving, caressing Camree’s hand because I thought it was Bobbie’s

o   As we were leaving Disney Land when it closed, somewhere around 11:00-12:00am. We were completely exhausted from our day, and I went to unlock Flipper via the clicker, and she wouldn’t open… so I used the key and the alarm went bananas. We couldn’t get it to go off. If you used the clicker to lock her, you had to use it to unlock her or the alarm would sound and she wouldn’t start. We tried everything. Finally, we were able to find something that could unscrew the clicker, reset the battery, and we were finally able to leave. Took about 30-45 minutes of just sitting there with the alarm sounding trying to get it to go off. No one came to help, and the kids actually fell asleep in the back waiting.

o   Bobbie was probably 5 went we went. Maybe 6. We made it her “job” to remember where we had parked. We’d quiz her and tell her if she forgot, we wouldn’t be able to find Flipper and we couldn’t get home… the first day I think we parked in Mickey Mouse. So we drilled her about it. The next day, we parked in Donald and drilled her about it as well. The second day, we did our favorite rides again. We went on Indiana Jones, and as we were walking out, everyone was commenting how it seemed different this time than it had the day before (thinking maybe there was different tracks/the settings vary, etc). Bobbie chimes in, “of course it’s different! Today we parked in Donald!” HAHAHAA…

• When I got Flipper and Mom cam home and told the guys what she looked like, how she had a fin on the end, Ramz and Bobbie said, “like Flipper the dolphin?” Which is where she got her name. Camree wrote me an email with all these pictures of “dolphin cars” she found on the internet. Funniest email I think I've ever received.  I printed it out, and have a copy in my journal for that year.
• To commemorate Flipper the Dolphin Car,  Ramz and Bobbie wanted to buy me a dolphin for the car. They forgot to get one in Saudi, so they decided to get one in the airport before I picked them up… but they couldn’t find a dolphin, only a whale. It was some weird material, that was stuffed with little white balls inside (aka – not a stuffed animal). I put the “dolphin” in my car. That summer I was working in St.George at GodFathers pizza. It gets hot in St.George in the summers, especially in a car sitting in the sun... One day I came out of work to find that the sun had caused the “dolphin” to explode!! It exploded down the back and sprayed its contents – little white balls – ALL OVER my car. I cleaned it as best as I could, but some were lodged in the passenger side airbag crevice (on the dashboard) and I could never get them out. I found those balls in my car for years, right up intil I sold it. Since I am a packrat and can't throw out sentimental things, I kept it for years (to be exact, about 7 years... I did throw it out after taking these pictures) and, since it had a giant rip down the back I sewed it up.

• Arabic “Saudi Arabia” with the palm tree on the back window
• Devesh kissing me for the first time, as we were parked above the “D” in St. George.
• Getting all hott and heavy with Devesh in the backseat in the parking garage of the SLC airport across from the entrance, where people were walking back and forth.
• Angie and I deciding in the middle of a Rexburg snowstorm we had to have Cold Stone… the passenger side door wouldn’t open (I made Angie drive) and the windshield wipers were not working, either. It took half an hour to unbury the poor car, and then I had to climb in the back, and over the seat to sit, and then couldn’t get out… we had to stop every hundred yards or so and clear the windshield off…
• Locking myself out at the Idaho State Fair when we were staying at Daren’s house and the AAA guy didn’t come until seriously 1am ish and everyone was up so late and it was so embarrassing.
• Sliding off the road on my way back to Rexburg in the snow… so scary! And all the brush that was all over the underneath…
• Thinking flipper had been stolen when I couldn't find her in the parking lot of my apartment complex after Christmas... one of my roommates had moved her due to snow removal in the parking lot.
• When I locked my keys in the gas tank in California on my road trip with Tatiana.
• When Flipper decided to break down completely that one horrid winter, and it cost over $1000 to fix and I was unemployed and Dad had to pay and I was without a car… wretched.
• How the windows always stopped rolling up and down and I’d have to replace them and it cost a lot of money and was so frustrating! (The driver’s window went out once, the passenger side window twice, and both the back windows once each). 
• When I got locked out dancing at studio 600 with Irma... left my keys on the drivers seat in downtown SLC next to a Mexican taco stand that gathered young hooligans... I went to the car and found the car there, they keys there... thankfully! A window was broken, naturally, so I managed to pull it down and climb through. Thank goodness!
• How there was almost always tape on one of the windows, keeping it up until I could replace it... how one of the windows permanently has tape marks around it. Driving and the tape coming off on the freeway and other places, and the window going down and having to stop a thousand times to pull it back up and tape it once again...
• How the windshield wipers never worked… and the drivers’ side wiper would smack the mirror, and make a horrid thumping sound every time… and sometimes (often…) it would actually get jammed behind the mirror and just stick there making awful noises.
• How Flipper would just not start sometimes… you’d have to sit there and wait and wait until it finally turned. And the first time it did it – when Mom tried to start it… so we towed it behind the truck. And my mom tied the rope to the “insert correct car part here” fluid line. I’m sitting  behind the wheel, and suddenly the rope goes flying out from under the car, and I see that the knot is still tied, which means whatever it was tied to on my car was broken… that was an expensive fix.
• How the blinkers only worked sometimes. That killed me. Merging was so precarious and I looked like such a bad driver.
• How only half of the lights on the display worked, and the mileage lights too
• How the A/C worked maybe 10% of the time… and the button wouldn’t stay on so you’d have to press it a thousand times while driving and it would never turn on…
• How it ran out of oil every other day. The gas went suspiciously fast too.

Goodnight Alaska

When I was like 7 or so, Dad took me to Cars, the local grocery store by our house in Alaska (they had an ice cream place inside, and for special treats mom and dad would take us to Cars to get ice cream. We always got bubblegum. We’d spit the bubblegum into napkins and save it for later) and they have those boxes in the middle of the store where they put random discount items on occasion.

One day, in that bin, I found this huge night shirt. I must have completely fallen in love because dad bought it for me, and I wore that thing almost every single night of my life until I was in college (don’t worry, I washed it). The only reason I stopped wearing it is because it got so torn. The armpits were gaping holes, the neck band was all torn and gaped and the rest of the shirt had holes everywhere. It didn't bother me for a while, but it got to the point where it was rather ridiculous to continue sleeping in it. It broke my heart when I couldn't wear it anymore.

I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away, so I packed it into a box of shirts I don’t wear anymore.

When I was de-junking the cave, I found it. It’s amazing that something as small as a shirt could have such a good memory with it. That I remember so specifically when I got it, where, that it was in the discount bin, etc.

I’m like that with things though, and people I guess too. I get attached to things/people, and I don’t want new things. I want my same car to work fine forever and never get a new one. I want my same phone, my same clothes… I really don’t like change that way. Whats weird is I love going to new places and moving. I just want all the old stuff to move with me. J

Love,

Brittney

Crack Kills

I remember dad having this poster in the basement of the duplex and in Alaska in the study. I remember thinking it was so funny, and also knowing that mom didn't like it.

It wasn't until I was older that I really thought about It, how funny it was that my dad hung it up, thought it was funny. It made me realize how young my parents were. They were in their early 30’s, which seems young to me now. I always thought of my parents as so old when I was little, its funny to be closer to their age now and realize that just because you are in your early 30’s or late 20’s or have kids – doesn't mean you are mature.

It’s just funny to me to think of my dad as young like that, and hanging up crude posters my mom hated.

Love,

Brittney

Care Packages

While going through hoards of old things at the Cave, I came across this card.

When I was at BYUI, Grandma Reynolds would send me boxes of baked goods. I can’t remember how often. It was more at the beginning, less as the years went on. By the time the cookies made it to me, they were pretty stale. She knew I loved the peanut butter cookies best, so always made sure to send those. She’d send all kinds though –there were some really good sugar cookies she’d send. She would also send homemade sweet bread. Banana mostly, I think.

My roommates and I looked forward to these packages. This is a card I kept from my first year.

First, I think it’s hysterical that she added “from down the freeway”.

Secondly, she got my name wrong. “Brittney De” instead of Brittney “Deann” but she got my other roommates name right – “Brittney Leann”.

She put “Ashley” as the third roommate and forgot the 4th roommate, but the names should have been “Alison Gutierrez” and “Nichole Stout”. I think it’s actually pretty impressive she remembered one of my roommates and got close to Alison on the 3rd.

Finding this card made me happy and emotional. I didn’t have the best relationship with her, and it was so nice to find this tender reminder that regardless of some of her other actions, she really did love me. She didn’t show me all the time or in the ways I would have understood, but it was wonderful to find this great keepsake and see, from an older perspective, that she really did love me and was a good Grandma.

Love,

Brittney



Taz Jammies

I made these jammie bottoms, for who knows what reason. If I remember right, Camree picked out the fabric (she made shorts) and I used the excess to make bottoms for me. I’ve never been into cartoons, let alone Taz, so I’m really not sure why I used the material. But I did. And I wore them, ever day for years. Until the holes in the knees were so bad it was quite embarrassing to be seen in public (still didn’t stop me from wearing them for a while though). These bottoms lasted me every day for 2 years of boarding school. Yes, I wore these in boarding school, for the entire school to see.

Oh, how I loved them.

 

Notice the huge hole in the knee?



Emily Elecent

When we were little, we had this toy. It was circular, and had little trap doors that animals would come out of. I can't remember all the inner workings of it, but best I can remember you spun a thing, and it would make music and then a random animal would come out and say it's name. I don't remember any of the animals except for the elephant and Kangaroo.

The kangaroo would pop out and say "blalahahaha and Baby Joey!"

Then the elephant would pop up and say, "and I'm Emily Elecent!"

Only, as far as my parents are concerned, the entire world heard "and I'm Emily Elephant!" but me. 

They tried to convince me she was saying "Emily Elephant" but I wouldn't budge. I knew she was saying "Emily Elecent". 

They tried to logically explain that they were right - by pointing out each animal stated what kind of animal they were - so it was logical that she was saying "Emily elephant" following the pattern of all the other animals.

So, Emily Elecent or Emily Elephant?

I still think I'm right.

NOTE- I decided to see if I could Google this old toy and see if anyone as nostalgic  as me had posted a picture. I won the jackpot!!!!

I found it!! The instruction manual!!! Imagine this but in color. Each of the hands had a different color. 

And the animal rundown. I can't believe after not seeing/hearing this in over 10 years at LEAST I remembered it as well as I did, and remembered the Baby Joey part.


Oh - BTW - this doesn't change a thing. I still think I'm right.

Love,

Brittney

Don’t be Scared, Tenzie’s Makin’ Toast!

One time when Bob was about 5 or so years old, she woke up in the morning and thought she was home alone. (For an insight on Bob's feelings on being alone, see here).

She was terribly frightened, and somehow in her mind the most logical solution to combat her loneliness and fear was to make toast.

Mom came down the stairs to Bob making toast while singing,

"Don't be scared, Tenzie's makin' toast, don't be scared, Tenzie's makin' toast."

A Family Anecdote: Ghosty vs Pee

In our family, we have the firm (although we all know it's completely false) belief in a 6th child in our family; Ghosty.

Ghosty was born before me, making him the actual eldest Johnson. He, sadly, died in infancy and has continued to make his presence felt by haunting our house/family. 

Ghosty has been known to eat the cookies no one was allowed to eat, to make a huge mess in the living room, to slam a door, hit a sibling, etc.

Sometimes Ghosty just wants us to know he's around, in the case of things falling randomly, lights flickering, or other creepy phenomenons. 

One time, when we were living in the Duplex in SLC, Taylor was fighting the battle of man vs. toilet. He was slow to potty train. Even the floating cheerios in the toilet bowl could not persuade him to come hither. 

My Dad, in an effort to convince Taylor to enter the world of big boy underwear, decided the ultimate father-son-potty-training-bonding experience would come in the form of a pee race.

Taylor wouldn't participate - so my Dad said he'd just race Ghosty instead.

From the bathroom (this is a duplex, remember. So the neighbor's bathroom is right on the other side of the thin duplex wall) we hear Dad bellow,

"Taylor! I beat Ghosty!!"

Without missing a beat, through the wall from the neighbor's bathroom comes,

"WOOHOOO!!"

Why, you may wonder, has this delightful family memory come to mind?

Because, friends, I have made an epic purchase on Amazon.com:

The pStyle! This little gadget (supposedly) allows girls to pee standing up. Since I'm embarking on a 10 day trip in the desert with my Dad, I felt this was worth all $11.

You see, a desert is not at all like a forest. There are no trees to hide behind, no logs to squat on... nothing but dunes and sand. This seemed like a pretty logical solution to the problems those facts present. 

I emailed my Dad with the link, and his response was,

I don't know if you are joking with me or serious, but either way. I got quite a chuckle out of it. See you soon.

Love Dad


I doubt a peeing war like with Ghosty will hardly be appropriate, but either way - I sure hope the pStyle and I conquer the Rub a Khali together.

Love,
Brittney

LoVe

Being a young, single girl, the subject of love comes up a lot.

To be honest, I've never been in love. I've loved, had way too many broken hearts, but I've never been in love.

I've had guys tell me they love me. One told me after I broke up with him because he treated me badly. One told me after knowing me a month, during a make-out session. Was it you loved me, or the action?

So, what is love? What is it that we are all searching for?

I have really little/poor experience in romantic love. But I am fortunate enough to have lots of experience in all the other kinds of love.

To me, love is:

• Grandpa kneeling on one knee asking Grandma to be his wife for ever, into the Eternities, because he loves her that much.
• Grandpa making rock jewelry for all the girls, for every holiday. Getting my ruby ring fixed for me, when the stone fell out.
• Dad driving me 4 hours to Rexburg for my first year of college, then turning around the next day and driving 4 hours back to Provo because I had a meltdown when he went to leave, and driving 4 hours back to Rexburg the next day to drop me off for good, then turning right around and driving 4 hours back to Provo again. 
• Dad using all his hard earned savings to send his kids to school, so we can start life with a good education and not in debt.
• When I was driving to St. George to visit Grandma and Grandpa,  I was feeling a little sick and coughing a lot. I called Grandma to tell her when I'd arrive at the Condo. When I pulled into the condo late that night, Grandma had left some cough medicine on the counter with a note for me.
• The way Grandma always tries to feed us, makes our beds, does our laundry - all the things she can do to make us feel comfortable.
• Mom never spending any time or money on herself, but giving it all to her family.
• The amount she prays for her kids.
• Mikail never giving up on me, even though I never give her a reason not to.
• Camree's love poems.
• Taylor pulling me aside to talk to me about something important, even though it was awkward.
• McKenzie never taking off the BOB necklace I made her.
• A friend driving 3 hours to spend a weekend with me when I was going through something hard, even though I never asked him to.
• Samar calling and telling me she's been thinking about me a lot (analyzing me as only she can, having been my best friend for 10 years) and some of the things I struggle through, and wanting to discuss these things in depth so I can have a healthier outlook on life.

I've never been in love, romantically. But I am so lucky to have good examples of what love is. It isn't extravagant gifts or showy displays of affection.

Love is time. It is putting someone else above yourself. Thanks, family and friends, for filling my life with love, for showing me what it is.

Love,
Brittney